Mentory Schizophrenia
by lizzydhamp1901
Summary: Sequel to LOVING LITTLE ROSE, where Daemon makes his debut - read that first or you just won't get it. Dimitri is a guy - a 24-year-old guy - though sometimes we forget... Because Dimka's mind is funnier and more twisted than we give him credit for!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

We were supposed to drive all the way to Billings – a five hour trip – in Alberta's old Honda Pilot.

Clearly, God did not intend to keep neither me nor Rose alive for too long.

Oh, don't get me wrong. That car was as boringly sturdy as they come. I _knew _it wouldn't fall apart easily.

That was the problem.

You see, I have this thing for big cars. _Really _big cars. They make me get… excited. And when I'm excited while I drive, I start crashing into smaller cars.

On purpose.

Daemon dropped his prayer book in shock when I told him. It took him about ten minutes to stop laughing.

By the time Rose chose to appear, I was seriously pissed off. Not because she was about half an hour late – oh, no, _that_ I was used to – but because Daemon really would _not stop laughing_.

Plus, the drive to see Art didn't look like it was gonna be too much fun.

Rose took one look at me and rolled her eyes "I know, I know. Sorry I'm late"

_You know, Daemon, I might get away with your murder if I plead innocent by cause of insanity._

That shut him up.

"Who else is going?" Rose asked, pushing her messy dark hair out of her face. Clearly, using a hairbrush in the morning was beyond her abilities.

She looked gorgeous "Just you and me"

"How far away is it?" She asked, giving up on her hair and tying it into a messy ponytail instead.

"Five hours" I dead-panned, thinking of the Honda behind me.

_I must not crash anything. I must not crash… not at all. It's not like this is a NASCAR race we're talking about. I'll be fine. No one's gonna die. Besides, it's not like these roads are very transited, anyway… right?_

"Oh" We both got into the car and shut the doors quietly. "Don't they usually come to the Academy? I mean, I'm all for the field trip, but why are we going to them?"

"Actually, you're just going to a him, not a _them_" I corrected her "Since this is a special case and he's doing us the favor, we're the ones making the trip"

"Who is he?" Rose asked.

"Arthur Schoenberg"

Rose's reaction… well, I wasn't expecting it.

"What?" She squeaked. "Wasn't… wasn't there anyone else available?"

I shrugged to hide my amusement "You'll be fine. Besides, if Art approves of you, that's a great recommendation to have on your record"

And he _would _approve of her. In fact, he and Rose would probably hit it off right away. Schoenberg was not your typical older-and-wiser hero, he was actually a really funny guy.

I smiled as I thought of when I'd met him. He'd burst into the school and started shooting paint guns all over the place to show the other guardians which places they weren't guarding properly…

Rose bit her lip, a frown on her face.

"You'll be fine" I assured her "The good on your record outweighs the bad"

She smiled and looked at me out of the corner of her eyes, snuggling into the leather seat "Thanks, Coach"

"I'm here to help" I joked.

"You know what would _really _help?" Hathaway asked, looking out her window.

"Hmm?"

"If you turned off this crap music and put on something that came out _after_ the Berlin Wall went down" Rose said.

I couldn't help it – I laughed "Your worst class is history, yet somehow, you know everything about Eastern Europe"

"Hey, gotta have material for my jokes, Comrade" She grinned.

I turned the dial. To a country station "Hey! This isn't what I had in mind!"

I pressed my lips together "Pick. It's one or the other"

_She'll take the country station_. Daemon smiled.

_No. She hates that. _

_Wanna bet?_ He asked.

I nodded.

Rose sighed in exasperation "Go back to the 1980's stuff"

I knew it all along.

Smiling, I switched the dial.

Hathaway groaned and put her head in her hands.

***

Two hours later, I was groaning too. Or my stomach was – clearly my breakfast had not been good enough for him.

"You know, Dimitri…" Rose began carefully.

_Sweet Jesus, _what _is this woman planning this time?_

"…I am as hungry as you are" She pouted "And as it happens, there's a diner right there"

I shook my head "We're late enough without stopping for food"

"But I didn't get to eat _anything _this morning! I'm _starving_!" Rose protested "If I faint while we're in Arthur Schoenberg's house…"

"Fine" I conceded "You have ten minutes. Starting now"

Hathaway jumped off the car as it slowed to a stop in the diner's parking lot and began running towards the smell of food. I followed calmly behind her.

She was sitting at a table drinking a huge milkshake by the time I caught up. "I ordered two hamburgers"

"Great" I sat down across the booth "Hey, can I try that? Since I am apparently gonna be the one paying for it"

Rose smiled sheepishly and handed me her glass as a waitress stopped in front of us.

"Mm... I'll have one of these, please" I said.

"Anything else?" She asked.

"No, thank you, we're fine" Rose crossed her arms and glared at the young blonde's retreating back.

My eyebrow went up… and up… and up.

"What? I ordered some fries for us, too" She defended herself at my skepticism "Besides, you _never _eat that much than me"

I let it go, pleased at her… jealousy? Possessiveness?

Daemon rolled his eyes at my reaction. _This is all so elementary-school-like._

_Dude, your comments are so boring, they're not even funny anymore._ I snorted.

The waitress returned with two steaming plates with hamburgers and French fries and my vanilla milk shake. Smiling, she set them down on the table and then leaned her arms against it, showing the world her ample cleavage.

I swallowed a smile. _How pathetic._

"Would you like anything else?" She drawled.

"No. Go _away_" Rose snapped. The blonde – Nancy, her name-tag read – left us alone in a huff and I burst into silent laughter.

_I swear to God…Only Rose can be that blunt…_

"What?!" Rose hissed in that annoyingly high-pitched voice girls can't help but get when they're mad "This is a restaurant, not a fucking strip club! She could've tried to seduce you somewhere else, you know – _some of us_ are trying to _eat _here, and looking at her boobs is _really _not helping my appetite"

I smiled, trying not to laugh again "Oh, I can see _that_"

Rose looked down at her half-empty plate and blushed "I was hungry. So sue me"

I decided not to – which was probably a smart move considering we had three minutes to finish up and get moving again.

Nancy returned as soon as our food had vanished and piled the dishes, taking them in her arms "May I offer you anything?"

"The bill would be nice, miss" I said quietly before Hathaway could get a word in.

"Anything besides that?" She prompted, squishing her chest between her arms.

I scooted away from her – all the perfume she had on was making me dizzy "No"

Rose left the diner with a smug smile on her face.

***

The Badicas' house was as simple as they come.

It was single story, with a dark, low-pitched gable roof and huge windows looking out into the street. The trees surrounding it and the small shrubs beneath the windows were covered in snow, the warm wood making the house seem cozy and inviting.

There was a pebbly sidewalk stretching from the driveway – where we'd abandoned the Honda – through the front yard. I began walking, alert in case Art decided to play some kind of joke on us.

Rose slipped on the thin sheet of ice covering our path and I instinctively steadied her.

"You OK?" I asked her – her ankle was probably still a bit weak.

"Yeah. Haven't these people ever heard of salt?" She wondered.

My whole world came crashing down as I took another look at the house. No smoke came from the chimney – odd in such cold weather – there was no sign of footsteps on the snow. The path did not, as Rose had pointed out, have any salt, and the lawn was undisturbed, like it had not been shoveled for a while.

_Please, God, please, no, not here – not Art…_

I silently began walking towards the front door, Rose following behind me. Seeing it more closely, I could tell it wasn't shut – not entirely, at least – and the handle was broken, the scuffs beside it telltale signs of a forced entry.

My throat dried.

_Strigoi. It's obvious. Get Rose away. Get her far, far away from here._ My mind screamed.

_But… if they are still on the perimeter… if they are watching us… _

"Rose, go wait in the car" I told her quietly.

"Wh–"

"Go" I said firmly, begging every deity I could think of to please, _please_ make her obey me for _once_ in her life and lock herself in the Honda. It was a strong car – one of the best in the market. She would be safe.

_Rose is the top priority here._

She backed up and got into the car without a word. The keys – I should've given them to her so she could get away.

But it was too late. I gave the door a gentle push and stepped into the foyer.

It was clear. Still tense and acutely aware of my surroundings, I scanned the empty dining room and kitchen before me. Sensing no danger from there, I turned to my right…

And saw my friend Art Schoenberg lying on the floor, dead.

He wasn't the only one. There were several bodies in the living room. Several Moroi had been killed: two women, a man and three children. A guardian lay beside a little girl, his body pressed to hers protectively.

I didn't feel pity. I didn't feel pain, though I knew that would get to me later. All I could feel was fear.

Fear for Rose.

I was out the door in a flash, my eyes immediately going to the empty car.

_Empty. She's not here. How can she not be here?_

I went cold all over.

_Footprints! Look… she's fine!_ Daemon grasped at straws wildly. _She must've gone off to check the place out._

And he was right. Footprints went all around the house u p to the porch.

Rose stood frozen at the edge of the living room, a stake in her hand. She drew in a ragged breath, ready to scream.

I clamped my hand over her mouth and felt her fight for a moment before she knew it was me and relaxed.

"Why don't you ever listen?" I demanded roughly "You'd be dead if _they_ were still here"

It took me quite a while to take my hand away. When I did, Rose turned around to face me.

"It's daytime. Bad things don't happen in the day" She said weakly, her eyes wide and horrified, like a little girl's.

I wanted to reassure her – and yet, I couldn't. Not if I wanted to keep her alive. "Bad things can happen anytime. And this didn't happen during the day. This probably happened a couple of nights ago"

Rose scanned the room over her shoulder again and stepped closer to me, her gaze fixed on the largest body.

"Arthur Schoenberg" I said, respectfully naming one of the greatest men I had known in my life.

"He's dead. How can he be dead? How could a Strigoi kill _Arthur Schoenberg_?" She asked, shocked.

I put my hand over hers – the one that held the stake. "Where did you get this?"

"Outside. In the ground" Rose whispered.

"It broke the ward" I held it up to look at it better.

"Strigoi can't touch stakes. And no Moroi or dhampir would do it" She puzzled.

I nearly gasped "A human might"

"Humans don't help Strigoi…" Rose trailed off and I saw the dismay in her eyes as she reached the same realization I had had moments before. "This changes everything, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. It does"

* * *

**Le gasp! EVERYTHING has changed!**

**Guys, I just found out that LOVING LITTLE ROSE is a mere nine reviews away from being the 9th most reviewed VA fic on ! AND IT'S ALL THANKS TO YOU.**

**Btw, Cathleen - I love you. I really do.**

**IF - and only if - it wouldn't kill you guys to go back AND REVIEW so we can kick some ass (and review this too, if it's not too much to ask) then I'd love you all even more than I already do! And I do. Too much for it to be considered healthy. In fact, it is very wrong - on too many levels to count.**

**Let's hope this fic can beat LLR and make it to the Top Ten again - on the 8th position ;)**

**PD. The TOP TEN MOST-REVIEWED VA FICS list is on my profile**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Tamara. This is Guardian Belikov. I need back up – I'm in the Badicas' house near Billings. The one where Art Schoenberg was stationed. There's been an attack" I said quietly.

"Oh, _God_" The phone nearly fell from her hands "Is Art… I mean, did he…"

I cleared my throat "There were no survivors"

I heard Tamara's horrified gasp and a choked sob. "We'll be there as soon as possible"

"Thank you" I told her gently "And… Tamara. I'm so sorry for your loss"

She hung up.

Three hours. We had three more hours to wait.

"I'm going to examine the house again" I informed Rose "Tamara's team will be here soon"

She nodded "I'll go with you"

We looked around everywhere – there was even a body in the bathroom. The sight was so grisly Rose finally went back to the car.

I poked around for a few minutes and followed her. I couldn't leave her alone. She was my responsibility.

_I've prayed for them. The Badicas. And Arthur._ Daemon said. _If they were really good people, they are in a better place now._

_How can they be in a better place if they're dead?_ I wondered sullenly. _How can you say that? How can you believe people are better off once they're… gone?_

_You have to believe it. Otherwise killing Strigoi would make no sense._

I frowned. _Yes it would._

_No,_ Daemon argued. _It wouldn't. Sure, they kill people. But those people would've died eventually. You kill Strigoi to free them. To let them go. Not just because they are evil_.

He had a point.

Screeching tires alerted me to the presence of someone that was neither Rose nor me, and it clearly wasn't my alter ego – unless Daemon was, in fact, a demon and had managed to possess someone after all – so I figured it was probably what was commonly referred to as backup.

I was right.

Tamara had brought everyone with her. Drew and Todd – the forensics guys – jumped off the van and started taking out tape and Ziploc bags. Nate and Spencer began the first inspection of the perimeter, and they started going around the house slowly, a procedure they would repeat five more times. Meanwhile, Patrick, Sean, Will and David began prowling around the nearby woods to see if they could find anything. They all had strict instructions to report their findings to Riley, who would take pictures and samples of the evidence and then show it all to Robert, who would, in turn, remain in the van writing a report for the Queen on his laptop.

I opened the door of the car and turned to Rose "You should see how this is done"

Well, that she did. In fact, by the time we actually got to the inside of the house, Rose looked a peculiar shade of green. Tamara crouched beside Art's body.

"Oh, Arthur" She sighed "Never thought I'd see this day. He was my mentor"

Rose's eyes widened at my friend's composure. "How could they do that? How could they kill _him_?"

"The same way they kill everyone else" Tamara shrugged "He's mortal, just like the rest of us"

Her use of the present tense did not go unnoticed by me. Poor Tamara. She did not deserve this.

"Yeah, but he's … you know, _Arthur Schoenberg_" Rose went on.

And then I had an idea. I was so not driving anywhere in that car again. Getting excited had been a constant preoccupation, though Rose had – more or less – kept me in check. I would be the one to test her "You tell us, Rose. You've seen the house. Tell us how they did it"

She cocked her head and began reciting like a good little girl "There were four points of entry, which means at least four Strigoi. There were seven Moroi and three guardians" She shook her head "Too many kills. Four Strigoi couldn't have taken down that many. Six probably could if they went for the guardians first and caught them by surprise. The family would have been too panicked to fight back"

I nodded "And how did they catch the guardians by surprise?"

Rose paused to think about it "Because the wards were broken. In a household without wards, there'd probably be a guardian walking the yard at night. But they wouldn't have done that here"

I nodded and followed Tamara to the bathroom. Rose looked away from the horror-movie-style picture the dead man made, thrown in the bathtub with his blood all around him.

Rose gasped, her gaze fixed on the mirror. The message, written in blood, was enough to take my breath away.

_Poor, poor Badicas. So few left. One royal family nearly gone. Others to follow._

I froze.

_Others to follow…_ They would try to take out the Dragomirs.

And Lissa was the only one left. Which meant… Rose. Rose would have to fight them. She'd have to fight the monsters that managed to take out _Arthur Schoenberg_.

If Lissa had been standing in front of me at the moment, _I _would've killed her. Or gotten her to have un-safe sex with the Ozera kid and pass on her genes.

"Tamara… we should go. It'll take me five hours to get Rose back to the school – and I don't think we're being of much use here" I said, putting my hand on her shoulder.

She sighed and gave me a hug. "You're right, Dimitri. You two should go. I'll… take care of everything"

I nodded and signaled for Rose to follow me to the Honda. But while I climbed in like a normal person, she slammed the door of the car so hard it actually shook.

She was angry. And that, my friends, is no small thing.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Are you _serious_?" Oh, she was mad again "How can you _ask _that? You were there. You _saw_ that"

"I did, but I'm not taking it out on the car" I pointed out.

Rose crossed her arms "I hate them. I hate them all! I wish I'd been there. I would have ripped their throats out!"

_Oh, the mysteries of the female mind. Wait – is this about Lissa?_

"You really think that's true? You think _you_ could have done better than _Art Schoenberg_ after seeing what the Strigoi did in there? After seeing what _Natalie_ did to you?" I demanded.

Rose sighed "I'm sorry"

"It's Ok" I said, resting my hand on hers for a moment "It's been a long day. For all of us"

And especially for my friend Tamara.

I hopped down from Alberta's car and stretched as soon as we were on the school's grounds. Rose rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"Go back to your dorm and get some sleep" I told her "Immediately"

"But I –"

"Promise me" I ordered. Rose sighed.

"I promise" She said wearily "I'll go straight to bed"

"Good. I'd better go tell everything to Alberta" I said unnecessarily. Rose nodded and scrambled off.

I trudged back to the commons, which were ablaze with warm light. Inside, a flurry of organized activity went on. Everyone was talking – on the phone, to another guardian, to themselves – and holding at least one paper in their hands.

Hank came up to me. "Belikov, one of your sisters called. She said to tell you they were coming to surprise you, but with the attack they'll probably stay home"

"They know? How can they possibly know?" I asked blankly.

"What do you think we're doing – planning a party?" He scoffed "Gunther's nearly going insane. We're sending e-mails to all the dhampirs we know of – all our families know. Those who are guardians will inform their charges, but just in case we had Kirova contact all the other Headmistresses she knows to tell them to alert her students. Every Moroi is to send the e-mail to their family… By the time tomorrow comes by, the whole world should know about this"

"And it is vital that they all find out immediately because…?"

"Christmas is coming – and, well, everyone wants to travel. But they can't. They shouldn't, at least" Hank shrugged "Kirova's trying to get permission to fly us all to the Wilikins' ski lodge – you remember them, don't you? Well, they offered it up to the Academy so all the families won't be separated"

"And Kirova jumped at the chance" I guessed.

"Of course. The lodge's supposed to be really safe – Queen Tatiana probably won't have a problem"

"Hank!" Someone screamed over the hubbub "Stop blabbing and get on the phone! You too, Belikov!"

Hank scuttled away and I looked around the rroom once more.

Alberta sat at a table, a mess of folders and pictures surrounding her. On her laptop's screen the layout of the Badicas' house was displayed.

"Yes, of course, but I just don't see _how_…" She trailed off when she saw me "I'd better go. Yes, yes. Alright. Goodbye"

Alberta hung up and motioned for me to sit down beside her. "Tell me everything"

I gave her back her keys and sighed. "Tamara sent you all this, didn't she?"

She nodded. I sat down and began what would be the first of many recounting of that horrible night.

* * *

**Rozablood, girl, you really rock my socks off. Most of my reviewers do, but I like you. You seem fun.**

**Thanks to those who reviewed and boosted LLR to THE EIGHT PLACE IN THE TOP TEN MOST-REVIEWED VA FICS!!!!!**

**I have news, though. I am writing two (2) new fics I think you'll love. One is about Dimka's childhood. The first chapter will be posted on Friday and it's a bit depressing, but the fic will have it's funny, adorable moments too. The other fic is an alternate universe/all human fic. In it, vampires don't exist and Rose is a princess. I wrote this because I hate the way all the princesses on FF are kind of pathetic and weak or just not very princess-like. Check out the Prologue - you'll love it. The story will be up on Thursday evening.**

**Peace and out.**

**Review and tell me: are you team daemon?**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Rose was late. She was late, I was mad – nothing out of the ordinary.

I began getting some life-like practice dummies out of the storage room and carrying them all until they were spread out everywhere. It only worsened my mood, though – I was tired, and those things were _heavy_.

By the time I finished, Rose still hadn't arrived. And I was pissed. I mean, really, did she not realize that I woke up _one hour_ before I was supposed to just because I had volunteered to teach her how to punch people's faces – something she was already good at? Plus, the gym was _cold_.

Hathaway chose that precise moment to arrive, Mason Ashford grinning flirtatiously beside her. My fists clenched as I stalked to their side of the gym. The kid caught sight of me and bowed.

_Pff. Oh, come on. Where does he think he is, ancient England?_ Daemon scoffed. I couldn't help but agree.

_He obviously has some identity issues. Maybe a blow to the head would help?_

_Violence, I regret to tell you, is not the answer, Dimitri._ He scolded.

_Yes, it is. It worked getting my dad away from my mom, and it'd sure as hell get that damned kid away from Rose_. I protested. Aha! You remain silent, my Lord. I rest my case.

_Oh, great. Now we have two idiots thinking they're British!_

"Your lord and master. Catch you later, Hathaway. Start planning your ski strategies" He winked and Rose turned to face me.

"Sweet" She whispered with a smile as she caught sight of the silver stake I held in my hand. I leaned against the wall casually and threw it in the air as Rose watched it turn. I caught it hilt first and she grinned. "Please tell me I get to learn how to do _that_ today"

I swallowed an answering smile. It had taken me years of practice to do that – and she wasn't even gonna get to touch the stake anyway. Not unless she was good. I flipped the stake again "You'll be lucky if I let you _hold_ it today"

Rose dropped everything she was holding – literally – and crossed her arms over her chest "You want me to tell you how they work and why I should always be cautious around them"

_How could she figure that out so easily?_ I stopped flipping the stake, shocked.

_Dude, just be glad she's good at something._ Daemon grinned_. Other than giving free blow-jobs, I mean._

_You have issues, my man. Huge issues. Just let it go already…_

"Come on. You don't think I know how you work by now? We've been doing this for almost three months. You always make me talk safety and responsibility before I can do anything fun" Her confidence was… sexy.

Sarcastic me popped out "I see. Well, I guess you've got it all figured out. By all means, go on with the lesson. I'll just wait over here until you need me again"

I put my stake back in its sheath as Rose shrugged and began babbling about stakes and silver and magical things. I let her go on – for forty-five minutes. Finally, I dragged her over to one of the dummies and took out the stake.

"Where are you going to put this?" I asked her.

Rose rolled her eyes "In the heart. I already told you that like a hundred times. Can I have it now?"

"Where's the heart?" She dramatically pointed to the left of the dummy's chest. I shook my head, smiling "That's not where the heart is"

"Sure it is. People put their hands over their hearts when they say the Pledge of Allegiance or sing the national anthem" Rose said, annoyed.

Seeing I was not convinces, she tapped the center of the dummy's chest "Is it here?"

Daemon laughed. _Wasn't she supposed to be oh-ever-so-great at fighting?_

_She is. She's just not fighting right now._

"I don't know. Is it?"

"That's what I'm asking you!" Rose snapped.

"You shouldn't have to ask me" I pointed out "Don't you all have to take physiology?"

_Huh. She probably aced that class._ I decked Daemon for that one and he retreated into his chapel, bleeding profusely from the nose. _I WILL GET MY REVENGE FOR THIS! YOU PIECE OF SHIT BASTARD! IDIOT! SON OF A B…_

"Yeah. Junior year. I was on 'vacation,' remember?" She paused, mad "Can I _please_ touch it now?"

I flipped the stake one last time and hid it from view "I want you to tell me where the heart is the next time we meet. Exactly where. And I want to know what's in the way of it too"

Rose glared and stormed off.

Training could be so much fun, sometimes.

It was with these thoughts that I hurried through breakfast – I had to endure Hal telling me everything there was to know about that ski lodge we would soon visit, apparently – and then off to my first shift. It coincided with Rose's bodyguard theory class, and it was always amusing to listen to her silly answers.

That day, however, did not look like it was gonna be too much fun.

Why? First of all, because Rose had a really pissed, really bitchy I-will-soon-commit-murder look on her face.

And second, there were three guardians in front of the class. One, and old man, I did not know. The second one was called Sasha, and I had worked with him a few times back in Russia.

The third guardian was a short, slim woman, with dark auburn hair and brown eyes. Her face was one I'd seen on many files before – I had studied her exploits in my last year of school. But the reason she looked so damn familiar, was that I saw her face every day, before and after school was over, for an hour.

And it had the same murderous expression. Only it wasn't her face I saw. It was her daughter's – and, from what I had heard, they did not get along too well.

Janine and Rose Hathaway glared at each other from opposite ends of the room, one sitting down, the other one standing proudly, but both equally intimidating.

_Oh, shit. We're all smack in the middle of the Hathaway women's get-together. Sitting on a plane next to Bin Laden would probably be not only much safer, but also less traumatizing. Not to mention violent and bloody._

I paused and felt a small bead of sweat dribble down my forhead._ I should probably start clearing the Emergency Exits._

* * *

**Oh, Lord. Help us all - Janine is here and the party is ON, bitches! Woo!**

**News: we all love Dimka, right? And we wonder what his childhood was like - right? If you do,** _CHECK OUT MY NEW STORY WAY BACK WHEN..._ **It's about Dimka's childhood.**

**I also have another new storie called ROSEMARIE: THE HIDDEN PRINCESS. It's different to the other princess stories in here - more realistic, maybe? I dunno. JUST CHECK IT OUt!!**

**xoxo**

**Lizzy (the one who loves you and wants you to fucking press that button and give her happiness in the form of a fucking fucked review). LOL.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Well, class" Stan began "As you can see, we have visitors today. They are Jacob Kunouskousvaya, Sasha Vernovaka and Janine Hathaway"

Rose flushed as everyone began clapping.

Stan paced "I know this is unusual. Visiting guardians usually don't have time to stop by our classes. Our three guests, however, have made time to come talk to you today in light of what's happened recently… in light of what's happened, we thought it might be better to prepare you to learn from those currently working in the field"

With the brief introductions over, Jacob began launching into a story about how his youngest charge had wandered off in a public place with Strigoi in it. The story was average, really nothing out of the ordinary, and it didn't do much to distract me from my more pressing concerns.

_I'm scared. _Daemon said.

_You should be. It would probably be safer to walk right into a human-sized blender than get between the two Hathaway women. _

He nodded. _Probably? Dude, we're smack in the middle of the 2009 Bitch-fest, if you'll pardon my language. We're not gonna live to tell the tale._

Sasha then began his own story – and, though short, most girls were staring shamelessly at him by the time it was over. It was the eldest Hathaway's turn next.

Now, _her_ story was epic. As in, it should get made into a video-game kind of epic. There were balls, prisoners, lots of stakings, captures – all the shit. Janine even got _me_ hooked, something hard to do unless you're Louis L'amour.

Once she finished, half the class put their hands up in the air and began drilling her.

It was then that I realized that Rose had her hand up, too.

_Oh, God. Why? Why? WHY?_

"So, Guardian Hathaway" Rose began "Why didn't you guys just secure the place?"

Her mother frowned "What do you mean?"

She shrugged "I don't know. It seems to me like you guys messed up. Why didn't you scope out the place and make sure it was clear of Strigoi in the first place? Seems like you could've saved yourself a lot of trouble"

Everyone gaped at Rose while Janine regained her ability to speak. My guess was she hadn't ever been questioned before, and her rocky relationship with her daughter was probably just making it worse "If we hadn't gone through all that 'trouble' there'd be seven more Strigoi walking the world, _and_ those other captured Moroi would be dead or turned by now"

"Yeah, yeah, I get how you guys saved the day and all that, but I'm going back to the principles here. I mean, this is a theory class, right? So I just wanna figure out what went wrong in the beginning" She said in typical Rose fashion, slouched in her seat.

_She wants to die, doesn't she? She wants to get expelled. She'll try to take Lissa…_

_Daemon! Stop freaking out!_ I snapped. _I wanna hear this._

Stan looked ready to commit murder. Janine hid it far better. "It's not that simple. The venue had an extremely complex layout. We went through it initially and found nothing. It's believed the Strigoi came in after the festivities had started – or that there might've been passages and hidden rooms we hadn't been aware of"

_Oh, sure, blame it all on the architect, why don't you._

Rose nodded thoughtfully "So what you're saying is that you guys either failed to detect them during your first sweep, or they broke through the 'security' you set up during the party. Seems like someone messed up either way"

_Rose – 1. Janine – 0. _

"We did the best we could with an unusual situation. I can see how someone at your level might not be able to grasp the intricacies of what I'm describing, but once you've actually learned enough to go beyond _theory_, you'll see how different it is when you're actually out there and lives are in your hands" Janine sniffed.

_Oh, she did _not_ just go there. _Daemon began.

_And she evens the score, ladies and gentlemen. We seem to have a tie in our hands. What will happen once young Rosemarie opens her mouth, no one knows. Stay tuned for the coming minutes of the Bitch-fest, 2009 edition._

"No doubt" Rose shrugged. "Who am I to question your methods?"

I was pleasantly shocked for about a minute before the cat-fight reached its climax "I mean, whatever gets you the _molnija_ marks, right?"

_Sweet Jesus help us, she's winning!_

"Miss Hathaway" _Or not_ "Please take your things and go wait outside for the remainder of class"

Rose gaped at Stan, clearly not expecting that. "Are you serious? Since when is there anything wrong with asking questions?"

"Your _attitude_ is what's wrong. Go"

The room was way too silent as Rose stood up and calmly put he books in her bag. She then slung it over her shoulder and walked out the door.

_Huh. This ended remarkably well. It's not like Stan hasn't kicked her out before._

_Oh, Daemon. Can't you see? This isn't over yet._ I paused. _Not by a long shot_.

***

After school, I was reading a text as Rose burst into the gym and slapped a dummy's chest. "There. The heart is there, and the sternum and ribs are in the way. Can I have the stake now?"

I nodded, putting my phone down "And how do you get though the sternum and the ribs?"

Rose sighed in exasperation and I began demonstrating exactly how to do that. Finally, about twenty minutes into the practice, I stopped and handed her the stake. She didn't move.

"You're giving it to me?"

I did my best not to laugh. I really did "I can't believe you're holding back. I figured you'd have taken it and run by now"

Rose crossed her arms at that "Aren't you always teaching me to hold back?"

"Not on everything" I pointed.

"But on _some_ things" _Ok, Daemon. Am I going insane, or did you hear the double-meaning in there, too?_

_Oh, I heard, all right. I heard a slut proposing to – _I cut him off.

_We'll have to talk about the 'slut' thing later._

"Of course. It's like everything else. Balance" I really didn't know I could hand out so much Zen crap when I had to – being near Galina for so long had obviously affected me. She had been quite a hippie, in her day "Know which things to run forward with – and which to _leave alone_"

Rose took a deep breath and gripped the stake in my hand. She took it from me and began exploring it surface cautiously, marveling at the way it glinted in the small amount of light. And, because she was _Rose_, she couldn't help but surprise me "What should I do first?"

Fifteen minutes and one heck of a lot of an explanation later, she was ready. Rose began attacking those dummies like she was getting paid to do so. And she soon would be.

Once practice finished – we had been in the gym for well over an hour – I took the stake from her and nodded proudly "Good. Very good"

A smile began to work its way up Rose's face "Really?"

I didn't hand out praise too often – but if she was going to smile like that every time I did, well… "You do it like you've been doing it for years"

As we began walking outside, Rose's grin as huge as it had ever been, she stopped. A dummy with curly red hair stood before her.

"Can I stake that one next time?"

I began putting on my coat "I don't think that'd be healthy"

"It'd be better than me actually doing it to her" Rose grumbled.

_Excellent point. Wait, Dimitri. Think of Galina. Think of _Galina_, man_ "Violence isn't the answer to your problems"

Rose snorted "_She's_ the one with the problem. And I thought the whole point of my education was that violence _is_ the answer"

I shook my head "Only to those who bring it to you first. Your mother isn't assaulting you" _Yet_ "You too are just too much alike, that's all"

"I'm not _anything_ like her!" Rose protested "I mean… we kind of have the same eyes. But I'm a lot taller. And my hair's completely different"

_They do have the same eyes… Focus!_ "I'm not talking about your appearances, and you know it"

"You think I'm jealous?" She guessed.

"Are you? If so, what are you jealous of exactly?"

"I don't know" Rose shrugged "Maybe I'm jealous of her reputation. Maybe I'm jealous because she's put more time into her reputation than into me. I don't know"

"You don't think what she did was great?" I prompted.

"Yes. No" Nice answer "I don't know. It sounded like such a… I don't know… like she was bragging. Like she did it for the glory. For the marks"

I froze, incredulous "You think facing down a Strigoi is worth a few marks? I thought you'd learned something from the Badica house"

"That's not what I –" I cut Rose off as I remembered a particularly important text I had gotten earlier in the day.

"Come on"

"What?" Rose stopped – forever doing the opposite of what she was told.

"I want to show you something" _That_, at least, got her moving again.

"What is it?"

"That not all marks are badges of honor"

* * *

Ooh. So, that's it. Bitchfest 2009.

Happy thanksgiving!!!

Also, I entered the TWILIGHT ANNIVERSARY CHALLENGE by Gleena as lizzyvamp1901, my twilight account. Wanna check it out and vote??

REVIEW BC U LUV ME AS MUCH AS I LUV U


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I couldn't help but shake off the feeling that what I was doing was incredibly stupid. I mean, really? I was taking the most troublesome novice Saint Valdimir's had _ever_ seen and leading her outside the campus' boundaries!

In short, not only was I schizophrenic, I also appeared to be clinically insane.

The walk would be long, I knew, and Rose was quiet. So I turned to Daemon.

_We need to talk._

_Whaddaya wanna do – break up with me?_ He scoffed.

_No._ I scoffed back_. Hey, you know what I just realized?_

_What?_

_Stan won the Bitchfest 2009. Not only did he kck Rose out, he also managed to shut Janine up. _Daemon laughed.

_I hate to be the one to break this to you man, I really do. I know you love him like a man loves a woman, but, the fact is, Stan is not a bitch._

I smiled. _Yes. yes he is._

_Hm. Interesting. And you wanted to tell me that because…?_

_I didn't. It just popped into my mind. _He shook his head.

_Uh… random, much?_

_You sound like a girl. _I laughed. _But that's not the point, so stop distracting me. This is serious._

_Is that even possible?_

_Daemon! _

_Sorry. _He said sullenly.

_It's alright. I actually wanted to apologize for hitting you the other day. That was wrong of me. _I held up a finger before he could break in. _But I also wanted to talk about Rose._

_What about her?_

_Daemon, I'm trying to be mature about this. I really am. And I know you don't approve of what she did with Jesse. I'm not asking you to approve of what we feel for each other, either._

_Then what are you asking me?_ He demanded.

_I'm asking you to stop calling her a slut._

Daemon thought about it for a moment. _No._

_Daemon!_

_What? I'm not gonna lie. And I'm not gonna be all hypocritical. Or hide my thoughts. Dimitri, let's face it, I'm just calling it like it is._

_SHE DIDN'T SLEEP WITH ANYONE! _I roared, frustrated.

_How. Do. You. Know? _

"What is that?" Rose asked, effectively ending the argument.

"Old watch-post. Guardians used to live on the edge of campus and keep watch for Strigoi" I explained.

"Why don't they anymore?"

"We don't have enough guardians to staff it. Besides, Moroi have warded campus with enough protective magic that most don't think it's necessary to have actual _people_ on guard" Needless to say, I disagreed. And the events at the Badica house only made me think having guardians here was vital. Humans could break wards. Humans could ally with Strigoi.

Humans had enough power to be a threat.

Rose and I edged around to the front of the small structure and I smiled at the scene before me. A frozen pond glittered in the soft moonlight as three people skated on it. Christian, Lissa… and Tasha.

Her hair was longer. That was the first thing I noticed about her. The rest remained unchanged. Years didn't seem to have _any_ effect on Tasha – she appeared frozen at eighteen, only the maturity of her expression revealing her true age.

"Rose!" I vaguely heard Lissa yell.

"Thanks for inviting me to the party" She said sarcastically – but then, she usually said things that way, didn't she?

"I figured you were busy. And this is secret anyway. We aren't supposed to be here"

"You bringing party crashers, Dimka?" That sentence was the very essence of Tasha. With her, there were no awkward hellos or meaningless greetings – it was like we'd never been apart in the first place. And it was too easy to slip back into being Dimka instead of acting like an antisocial teacher that never got to have any fun.

I laughed, elated at seeing her "It's impossible to keep Rose away from places she shouldn't be. She always finds them eventually"

At that, Tasha turned around to face Rose for the first time. Her eyes widened only slightly at the sight of her. I was used to Tasha's scars – they were as much a part of her as her eyes – but I had not forgotten the shock they could cause to someone just meeting her. One got used to them in no time, however. They made her… more beautiful, as strangely as it might sound.

Which was exactly why I had brought Rose here.

My friend extended her hand "Tasha Ozera. I've heard a lot about you, Rose"

I would've killed her if Rose's eyes hadn't immediately darted to Christian's face, her expression deadly.

Tasha laughed "Don't worry. It was all good"

"No, it wasn't" Christian scoffed. So he _had_ mentioned her.

Tasha shook her head in disbelief "Honestly, I don't know where he got such horrible social skills. He didn't learn them from _me_"

"What are you guys doing out here?" Rose asked.

"I wanted to spend some time with these two. But I don't really like hanging around the school itself. They aren't always hospitable…" Rose's frown matched Tasha's for a brief moment before she understood.

"Because… because of what happened…" She stuttered.

"That's the way it is" Tasha shrugged, used to it "But let's not stand out here – not when we can build a fire inside"

It was a great suggestion, and, in a matter of minutes, a warm fire blazed in the small fireplace as we sat and toasted some marshmallows Tasha had offered.

"Hey, T, I've been wanting to ask you who that guy was" I began.

"Who?"

"When we were on the phone…" I prompted.

"Oh! That was just some random guys I was dating. It didn't last for too long" She shrugged.

I crossed my arms "You kicked his ass, didn't you?"

"I did not! Well, he wasn't hurt too bad anyway…"

"Tasha!" I groaned "How do you pretend to find someone if you keep trying to practice on them? I've told you over and over again, guys do _not _like being beaten by girls"

"That's just plain chauvinistic" She argued "And besides, I need a man that can stand up to me – not back up like a scared puppy"

"Ok, Tasha, let's face it: you're not gonna find anyone that's able to beat you. You'll always be the one to wear the pants in a relationship" I shrugged.

"_You_ can beat me" She pointed.

"Well, yeah, but I'm me. I'm not your average guy. How did Karina describe me? Oh yeah, I'm a hard-fisted mother-fucker with lots of practice" I grinned.

Tasha rolled her eyes "I swear, that girl did not speak sense. What did she mean about practice?"

"Well, you know, my sisters happen to be _very _attractive women" She nodded understandingly.

"Ah, yes. That explains all of Gregori's black eyes" We laughed.

"So are you coming on the ski trip?" Rose broke in.

Tasha nodded, yawned, and then proceeded to stretch out "I haven't bee skiing in ages. No time. Been saving all my vacation for this"

I nodded understandingly.

"Vacation? Do you have… a _job_?" Rose looked horrified.

"Sadly, yes. I teach martial arts classes" I was actually worried Hathaway was having a heart-attack when T said that. Until, of course, Christian snapped her out of it.

"What do you think, Rose? Think you could take her?"

She sized Tasha up "Hard to say"

"You're being modest" Tasha grinned "This is just a hobby I picked up"

At the very stupidity of that, I laughed "Now _you're_ being modest. You could teach half the classes around here"

"Not likely. It'd be pretty embarrassing to be beaten up by a bunch of teenagers"

"I don't think that'd happen" I shook my head "I seem to remember you doing some damage to Neil Szelsky"

Tasha rolled her eyes at the memory. This really creepy guy had tried to make a pass at her during her prom, once, and she had quickly let him know nothing was gonna happen with her – except perhaps a trip to the hospital. Tasha had a pretty wicked right hook, even then., I had taught her to defend herself after a previous unfortunate incident, though I was several years younger "Throwing my drink in his face wasn't actually damage"

_She did that too? Lord. She's almost as bad as Rose…_

"Unless you consider the damage it did to his suit" She went on "And we all know how he is about his clothes"

We laughed again.

"Did you start fighting before or after what happened to your face?" Rose asked, curiosity making her blunt.

"After" Tasha answered a bit sadly. It was bittersweet, for her – on one hand, she was glad Rose was asking her to her face, but, on the other hand, well, she was still hurt "How much do you know?"

"The basics" She said, looking at Christian for about a millisecond.

"I knew … I knew what Lucas and Moira had become, but that still didn't prepare me. Mentally, physically, or emotionally. I think if I had to live through it again, I still wouldn't be ready" Tasha shook her head "But after that night, I looked at myself— figuratively—and realized how defenseless I was. I'd spent my whole life expecting guardians to protect me and take care of me"

"And that's not to say the guardians aren't capable. Like I said, you could probably take me in a fight. But they—Lucas and Moira—cut down our two guardians before we realized what had happened. I stalled them from taking Christian— but just barely. If the others hadn't shown up, I'd be dead, and he'd –" Her voice broke "I decided that I didn't want to die that way, not without putting up a _real _fight and doing _everything_ I could to protect myself and those I love. So I learned all sorts of self-defense"

Tasha paused uncomfortably for a moment and then went on "And after a while, I didn't really, uh, fit in so well with high society around here. So I moved to Minneapolis and made a living from teaching others"

The silence was heavy enough to cut, but Tasha had not problem doing so "Now you know how I saved my nephew, Rose. But what _I _want to know is, what has said nephew been doing while he knows I can't see him?"

We all laughed "Oh, he's been a _very _naughty boy. Setting people on fire, seducing princesses – you know, the typical Ozera stunts"

"Hey!" Christian protested "What exactly does that mean?"

"It means you were so busy trying to dispel the rumors about your Strigoi reputation you became a moody, emo-style, rebel instead of an immortal bloodsucker" Rose joked "And, frankly, I'm not too sure you took the better road"

The fight that ensued after that was epic, with Rose recounting as many bad Christian stories as she could. He, on the other hand, focused on loudly denying them and retaliating with some of the most infamous Rose stories – including the time she supposedly broke a girl's leg accidentally on purpose. Lissa, however, valiantly defended her boyfriend and her best friend – and, in trying to please both, she effectively managed to please none but Tasha, who was laughing with a kind of horrified expression on her face.

_Huh. Who knew crazy people got along so well?_ Daemon asked, sarcasm coated all over his face.

_Just go get laid, will you?_

"Dimka, have you ever told the kids how we met in the first place?" Tasha asked once the mayhem had died down a bit.

I looked down at my hands "No"

"And don't you think you should?" She prompted.

"Tasha…"

"It was the summer of 1991, and darling Dimka was only six years old" The black-haired devil began.

"And you were… thirteen, right?" I guessed.

"Exactly" Tasha nodded "Anyway, Olena – that's Dimitri's mother's name, you know – had asked Karolina to babysit him and Sonya while she went to the market. And Karo – who didn't want to be alone – asked me if she could borrow my little sister, Lada"

I sighed and went on "So Lada came, and Tasha had to come too, cause she didn't wanna leave her sister alone. But it was hot – really hot – and we asked a neighbor if we could use her pool"

"Ah, yes. Anyway, I had to leave for a little while to get my bathing suit, and I asked the kids to wait for me before they jumped in" Tasha explained.

"Well, as I said, it was hot. And we were bored and tired, because _someone_ got distracted once she got home and started painting her fingernails" I shook my head "We waited for half an hour. And then Sonya found the scotch tape on Mrs. Jusky's shed"

"I came back just in time to see my little sister, _covered in tape_, about to be thrown into the pool because _he_" Tasha pointed at Dimitri accusingly "wanted to know whether or not she would drown! I was punished for a _week_!"

The kids burst into laughter. And, of course, I had to respond accordingly to Tasha's challenge. So it was that a story war began, the two of us competing to see who could tell the most hilariously ridiculous story about the other person – or, once we ran out, someone we knew.

By the time we both gave up, Rose and Lissa were crying, and Christian was an alarming shade of blue. Tasha looked at her watch and frowned.

"Where's the best place a girl can go shopping around here?" She asked.

"Missoula" Lissa and Rose chorused.

Tasha sighed "That's a couple hours away, but if I leave soon, I can probably still get in some time before the stores close. I'm hopelessly behind in Christmas shopping"

"I'd kill to go shopping" Rose groaned.

"Me too" Christian rolled his eyes at his girlfriend.

_Women. I don't know how we'd live without them._

Rose smiled hopefully "Maybe we could sneak along…"

My 'no' was firm enough to convince even Rose, and she sighed dejectedly.

Tasha yawned again "I'll have to grab some coffee, so I don't sleep on the drive in"

I frowned "Can't one of your guardians drive for you?" Rose asked.

"I don't have any"

"Don't have any… You don't have any _guardians_?" _Oh, the innocence of youth, the innocence_.

"Nope" Tasha popped her lips.

"But that's not possible! You're _royal_. You should have at least _one_. Two, really" Rose protested.

"The Ozeras aren't exactly first in line when guardians get assigned. Ever since…my parents died…there's kind of been a shortage" Christian added.

"But that's not fair. They can't punish you for what your parents did!" Rose flushed angrily, always one for justice.

"It's not punishment, Rose. It's just…a rearranging of priorities" Tasha explained tactfully.

"They're leaving you defenseless" She shook her head "You can't go out there by yourself!"

She smiled "I'm not defenseless, Rose. I've told you that. And if I really wanted a guardian, I could make a nuisance of myself, but it's a lot of hassle. I'm fine for now"

"You want me to go with you?" I offered.

"And keep you up all night?" Tasha scoffed "I wouldn't do that to you, Dimka"

"He doesn't mind" Rose said quickly. I would've balked at the idea of her trying to read my mind – but, the thing is, she was right.

"I really don't"

"All right. But we should probably go soon" Tasha conceded.

"Great. I'll see you at the gate in half an hour. I'll have to ask Alberta if I can borrow her car" I mused.

"Don't worry about that – I rented one at the airport" She smiled. Christian and Lissa walked off to their dorm, hand in hand. I, however, led Rose back through the forest surrounding the dorm.

"So what do you think of her?" I asked

"I like her. She's cool" Rose grinned, and then went serious "And I get what you mean about the marks"

"Oh?"

"She didn't do what she did for glory. She did it because she had to. Just like…just like my mom did" Rose admitted "The marks don't matter. Molnijas _or_ scars"

"You're a fast learner" I nodded

Rose smiled but didn't comment "Why does she call you Dimka?"

"It's a nickname for Dimitri" I explained.

"That doesn't make any sense" Rose huffed "It doesn't sound _anything_ like Dimitri. You should be called, I don't know, Dimi or something"

I laughed "That's not how it works in Russian"

"Russian's weird"

"So is English"

"If you'd teach me to swear in Russian, I might have a new appreciation for it" Rose teased.

I shook my head. _No way in hell._ "You swear too much already"

"I just want to express myself!" Rose protested, trying to look innocent.

"Oh, Roza… You express yourself more than anyone else I know" _And no, Daemon, I did not include you in that category. If I had, I think you would have won. By a long shot._

_Thank you. It's nice to have one of my many abilities recognized. _Daemon smiled smugly_. But don't try to flatter me. You know you shouldn't have called her that._

_It's her name. _I protested.

_No, it's your pathetic nickname for her. _He sniffed_. You're falling into your pedophiliac tendencies again! I thought I had saved your soul!_

_Shut up, you dick._

"You know, there's something funny about Tasha's scars" Rose began, cocking her head to the right.

"What's that?"

"The scars…they mess up her face. I mean, it's obvious she used to be really pretty. But even with the scars now … I don't know. She's pretty in a different way. It's like…like they're part of her" Rose paused "They complete her"

_Did you hear that, Daemon? She sees it. She can see it._

_I heard._ He said begrudgingly. _And it is pretty weird that you agree with her on that._

_My God. She's perfect. She's utterly perfect. _Out loud, I just said "You're a fast learner, Roza"

* * *

**Awwww... isn't he too sweet??**

**Jeez, Cathleen, you're way too smart for your own good! =)**

**Lots of thanks to agony-fairy. She rocks my world. I hope she won't kill me for stealing some of her reviews' ideas and dialogue. I wanted it to be a surprise – otherwise, I would've asked. So... surprise!!! XD**

**Review because you want to make me update faster (tee hee, we have 100 reviews so HA!!!)**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

It was pathetic, really. The fact that I was standing, soaked to the bone, in front of a closet that was fucking full of clothes, and I had no idea what I should wear.

_Jeans. And a shirt. A polo, preferably – not a T-shirt. You don't wanna look too casual. Or too dressed up._

_Whoa. Daemon? Since when is your voice so… girly? Did you have a helium accident?_ I asked.

Daemon peeked his head out of his room. _Uh… that wasn't me._

_Well, then, who the hell–_

_I'm Alayah. _The same voice interrupted. _It means perfect in Arabic. _

_You got to choose your own name? _Daemon gaped. _That isn't fair! Why'd Dimitri pick for me?_

_Because this is my mind, you creep, and I get to name whoever's in it._ I retorted absent-mindedly. _Ok, Alayah, would you please explain why exactly you are here? Not to be rude, but this place is starting to get pretty crowded._

A pretty woman with deep red hair and green eyes appeared out of the nothingness. _It's not my fault you have something resembling a mild case of schizophrenia, Dimitri. It's either that or an overactive imagination. Besides, I've always been here. I'm your girly side._

I _have a girly side?_ I asked incredulously.

_Uh, yeah. I'm here, aren't I?_ Alayah shrugged. _When you cry in a movie, or comfort one of your sisters, or choose what you'll wear… yeah. That's me coming out._

_Dude_, Daemon laughed. _You really have issues._

Alayah scoffed. _Yeah, like you're one to talk. Praying all the time, killing the romance… Do you ever think of anyone other than yourself? And, no, God doesn't count._

I laughed.

_And you! How idiotic can you get? Listening to him, lying to Rose – I could've killed you!_ Alayah flushed with anger. _I really don't know which one of you is the biggest moron – Daemon, for condemning Rose and your love for each other or you for letting him talk you into thinking you should leave her! She's perfect for you! She makes you happy! Besides, I like her._

Daemon looked down at his hands, ashamed.

_So I'm here because _someone_ needs to be the voice of reason in this whole mess! And, apparently, that someone is gonna have to be me. _She finished. _Now, put on those clothes, would you? You're gonna be late!_

I obeyed Alayah's orders in a daze. Yes, it looked like it was certainly going to be very crowded in my head. And, really, a _girly_ side?

_I need to see a shrink. I should see a shrink._ I paused. _I'm too ashamed to see a shrink._

I was standing at the gates exactly one minute after the accorded time. Tasha was already by her car, waiting for me, and I felt a faint feeling of déjà vu take over. "Sorry I'm late"

"You're not _that_ late, Dimka" Tasha laughed "But don't worry, I'll let you make it up to me"

"Oh, really?" I raised an eyebrow "How?"

Tasha smiled "I'll have to think about it"

_Oh. My. God._ Alayah put her hand on her hips. _Are you flirting with her? Is she flirting with you? You better not–_

_Relax, Alayah._ I said. _She's my friend, nothing else. You're just seeing things._

_I am not!_ She protested. _Listen, Dimitri, I'm a girl. Trust me on this one, Ok? What she said back at the cabin – you know, about needing someone who could beat her in a fight? And then she said you had. That was obviously–_

_That was nothing. _I said firmly._ Tasha is way older than me._

_And still single._

_She'd be better for him than Rose, at least. _Daemon broke in._ I've never heard of _Tasha_ sleeping around. I've never heard of _Tasha_ throwing books at her teachers in preschool._

_Dimitri wasn't even _alive _when Tasha was in preschool! _Alayah spat.

_Ok, people, focus here, would you? _I interrupted. _This is Tasha we're talking about. It doesn't matter who would be better for me because I don't have to choose between them. Rose is Rose. And Tasha is my friend. Only that, Ok?_

Alayah finally nodded, appeased. Daemon sulkily retreated back into his room, muttering about pedophilia and sluttiness. Before I could complain, however, Alayah went up to him and slapped the back of his head. _Idiot._

"Dimitri, are you Ok? You're kinda quiet" Tasha asked, a frown on her face. I shook my head – we were already fifteen minutes into the trip and I had not even spoken.

"Oh. I, uh… sorry" I laughed. "I guess I just got distracted"

"Mmmmm" She turned down the volume of the radio "Tell me something"

"What?"

"Anything" Tasha shrugged "I haven't seen you in such a long time…"

So I began telling her everything that had happened since Ivan had died. I had never had enough time to really talk to her, and the drive gave us the perfect opportunity to catch up. Plus, Daemon and Alayah were happy enough to remain quiet.

We got to the mall pretty quickly with T's crazy driving. And then it was all a flurry of stores, clothes, Christmas trees, bright colors, crying children… But when I had gone with Rose – oh, that had been fun. Being able to openly stare at her, not even having to hide it. Time had gone by too fast.

But, this time, the hours dragged on. And, though I enjoyed Tasha's company, I couldn't help but wish she would just get it done already.

"Dimitri? Dimka?" She waved her hand in front of me. "Helloooo?"

"I'm here, I'm here"

"A penny for your thoughts" Tasha smiled. I took another bag in my hands, unwilling to let her carry anything.

"I'm starving" My stomach growled to confirm said statement.

"Ok, then" She grinned "Why don't you go take the bags to the car so you don't have to carry them around while I go buy your present? We can meet at Chili's"

"No way, T" I shook my head "What if a Strigoi eats you? Your mom would _kill_ me"

She laughed "She would _not_. She loves you too much. Besides, I was supposed to come alone anyway. And if you don't go, I'll just have to come back again. Alone. Because I will _not_ buy your present with you here"

"Tasha–"

"Go!" She gave me a gentle push in the car's direction "What could possibly happen to me in a crowded mall?"

_She's right, you know._ Alayah said. _No need to go all caveman on her._

Needless to say, I ended up going to the car.

_You know, God, I have a feeling it's good that I can't get married. That way I'll never be a henpecked husband, at least. _

Tasha was waiting for me at a table by the time I got to the restaurant. A plastic bag sat at her feet, the logo hidden from my view. "Oh, good. You're here. I ordered a Coke for you"

_Really, what is it with women regulating what I eat these days? First Rose, then Tasha. Is this becoming some kind of habit?_

Out loud, I just said "Thanks"

I had a good time, though. Talking to Tasha was great. And the food was really good. And then, of course, just as I was about to ask for the bill, she opened her mouth.

"You know, Dimitri, I wanted to talk to you about something"

_Oh, shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Please don't make it too bad. Did someone die? Is she pregnant? Oh, God, a baby? No problem, no worries, I can deal. I'll help her. She's my friend. Maybe…_

"Really?" I asked calmly.

"Yes – I, um… God. I don't even know how to start" Tasha laughed nervously. _This is bad_ "Ok. Well, I know you might not be aware of this, but I've always kind of… had, umm… feelings… for you"

_Motherfuck my ass, this is worse than I thought. Tasha? Tasha likes… me? The world has gone insane. Or maybe God just has a devastating sense of humor. _

"And I wanted to ask you" She went on "If you would maybe consider being my uh –"

_If she proposes, I will kill myself_ "Your what, Tasha?"

"My guardian" She gulped "And, well, my… boyfriend, of sorts"

My mouth was literally open at that.

"Well, think about it, Dimka!" Tasha pleaded "We get along so well together. And you'd be able to have children – and we both know how much you love kids. It would make your mother so happy, and…"

"Tasha" I cleared my throat "I – uh, just, please, uh – maybe we should talk about this later. At a more appropriate time. Like when I'm not falling over from lack of sleep"

She blushed "Oh. Of course. Yes, yes, Dimka, you're right. Don't worry. We can talk later"

Alayah's eyes blazed. _I knew it! I knew it all along! What a bitch! The nerve of her…_

_Why in the name of God did you not say yes? Why?_ Daemon yelled. _It's the perfect solution! You can't let your useless dream of fucking your student ruin your li–_

_HE'S IN LOVE YOU MORON! _Alayah shrieked, going at him with a pillow. _Go away! Idiot! Bastard! You're almost as bad as Tasha, for Christ's sake._

_Alayah? _She turned towards me, her face still dangerous. _Weren't you supposed to be bringing order to us wild and savage men?_

She chucked the pillow at me.

***

The ride back to the Academy was as silent as it was awkward. And, believe me, it was awkward. The only sound in that damned car came from the radio's wailing about lost love and bloody tears.

It was, to say the least, an extremely uncomfortable situation that could've been avoided in so many ways. If I had not gone with Tasha to the mall… I should've stayed in my room with Louis L'amour – _he_ didn't declare his love for me. _He_ didn't cause chaos in my head.

"I should go" I coughed stretchingg as I finlly got out of the car.

"Yeah. Me too" Tasha said. "See you later"

"See ya" I mumbled.

It felt like I had been blissfully asleep for a few hours before my ringing phone was tugging me back to consciousness. I stumbled out of bed, half blinded with the sudden light, and answered just on the last ring.

"Hello?" I mumbled.

"Guardian Belikov" Janine Hathaway's usually competent voice shook "It's Rose…"

_Oh, God._

But then, wasn't it always Rose? "She's at the clinic. She's unconscious. She's been out for _three hours_"

I nearly dropped the phone "I'll be there in a minute"

And, in a minute, I was. Janine stood beside the clinic's door, wringing her fingers anxiously. "Oh, Guardian Belikov, I'm so sorry for waking you, but I thought you should come – you're close to her, and the Princess is in class, and I–"

"What happened?" I demanded.

"I punched her in the face" Hathaway admitted "It was an accident"

She actually said it like I cared. She had hurt her – whether it was on purpose or not was unimportant, really.

_Daemon_, I choked. _The list._

He nodded_. I already wrote her down._

_Good. She deserves it_. Alayah huffed, voicing my thoughts. _Hurting Rose like that… who does she think she is, anyway? Just because she's her mother doesn't mean she can do this to her. This has a name, I'm telling you. Child abuse. What a woman! How dare she…_

Dr. Olendski let us come into the room. Rose lay on the bed limply "I think she's fine. I want to keep her here for the school day, just to make sure she doesn't have a concussion. I certainly don't want her anywhere near her guardian classes"

* * *

**Any thoughts on Alayah? Don't worry, guiys, she'll be the last voice to appear. I swear.**

**Review? Please?**

**This will probably be the last update for some time. Exams are coming. **

**Oh, and people, bear with me. Alayah actully has a purpose in this story. So go with the flow, K?**


	7. Chapter 7

_So… Rose. Uh, I was wondering, you know, about what happened with your mom…_

Alayah shook her head. _I've told you again and again, there is just _no_ tactful way of asking that. Stop trying to prove me wrong, would you? I hate it when guys do that._

Rose grunted and attacked one of the larger dummies – an imitation of a highly obese man – one more time, getting him perfectly. She had been going at it for half an hour, and, considering the strength she was putting behind those punches, I was either the best mentor in the world or she was on a sugar high.

She hit the dummy again. Definitely a sugar high.

"Swing your arm a bit more… yes, yes, exactly" I encouraged from my place on an old chair in the corner.

_I'm bored._ Daemon began.

_This is not supposed to be fun, you know. You're free to get the hell out of my head at any time._ I pointed.

_Boys…_ Alayah warned.

_Wish I could. Particularly when you start paging through those Victoria's Secret catalogues and take the time to picture your 17-year-old rebel student in every outfit they're selling in that damned –_

_Hey! At least I am remotely normal. _I defended_. I mean, dude. I'm a guy. Guys daydream about girls._

_Not when they're nearly half their age_. Daemon's holier-than-thou tone made my blood boil. Oh, sure, like _he_ didn't gulp when Alayah came out for breakfast wearing a tank top and some short shorts. At least I wasn't eye-raping her at the time.

_SHE IS NOT HALF MY AGE. _I roared. _Hypocrite! Idiot! Jackass! She is a mere seven years younger than me. Just because you insist on acting like a eunuch doesn't mean the rest of us can't–_

_Oh, that is IT! _Alayah screeched. Keep _your dicks in your pants and shut up already!_

We looked on, astonished, as she furiously began to pace.

_I hear this same argument every day! 'Dimitri, stop looking at her like that.' 'Daemon, stop being such a hypocrite.' 'Pedophile, idiot, bastard, eunuch…' For Christ's sake! Can't you stop tearing each other's heads off for FIVE MINUTES? One would think you would be sick of hearing yourselves go on and on – but no, God forbid Alayah getting a little peace and quiet. QUIET. Do you know what that means? Do you? _We nodded. _Good. The why don't you two jackasses close those big mouths of yours before I get ahold of my sewing scissors? Because, believe me, I will take matters into my own hands. And it will not be pretty_.

I shuddered and turned to watch Rose.

She wasn't even stopping to wipe away the accumulated sweat. Like a tiny tornado, she went from dummy to dummy, hitting, punching – even scratching, sometimes. All she had to do was use the stake. Her sneakers squeaked along rapidly, her hair flying around her face…

"Your hair's in the way" I said "Not only are you blocking your peripheral vision, you're running the risk of letting your enemy get a handhold"

Alayah slammed the door to her room. _Men are such idiots._

"If I'm actually _in _a fight, I'll wear it up. I'm just wearing it down today, that's all" Hathaway grunted.

"Rose" I warned. I had just gotten out of a fight with one angry woman, and I didn't want to get into another one, but my voice still came out sharper than I expected "_Rose_. Stop"

Panting, she let her back hit the wall, looking at her feet.

"Look at me" I told her firmly. I know what you're thinking. _What a jerk. So insensitive…_ But, hey, I couldn't very well talk to the top of her head, could I?

"Dimitri–"

"_Look at me_" Rose slowly turned to face me, her head still tilted down. My muscles protested as I stood – Hank had accidentally bumped into me, pushing me to the rocky floor (another reason for my horrible mood besides Daemon) and, boy, it had _hurt_. Rose looked away, true, but she did not move.

I felt my hand move forward in an attempt to brush her hair out of her face – and stopped just in time. Oh, that hair. It was really great hair. Pretty and long and dark.

_I can't touch the hair. Don't touch it, Belikov. Stay away from the hair, man. _My hand hovered in midair. _I said STAY AWAY. Go. Shoo. Move the hand, Dimitri, move the hand_.

I let my arm drop back to my side – and whether I was thankful or sorry or about to kill someone, I really cannot say.

Rose finally tipped her head back to meet my eyes. Her hair fell away – most of it, at least. One long, persisting strand remained right there. There. Smack in the middle of her face.

_Heaven help me, my hand is shaking. No. No. I can control a hand. I can take a fucking hand_. I told myself nervously. _I've killed six Striogi. I can steady my hand._

I did. And finally noticed the huge black eye covering half of Rose's face "Does it hurt?"

_Stupid, stupid, stupid hormones making me ask stupid questions._

"No"

"It doesn't look so bad" I lied. Not that Rose looked bad – did she ever? – but that bruise was really… big "It'll heal"

"I hate her" She spat, her eyes blazing furiously.

"No you don't" I whispered, remembering my own mother. Impossible. No one could really have such a terrible relationship with a woman that had carried them inside her for nine months.

"I do" Rose assured me.

"You don't have time to hate anyone. Not in our profession. You should make peace with her" I suggested, memories of rotting flesh and red eyes and crying families dancing through my mind.

"Make peace with her? After she gave me a black eye _on purpose_! Why am I the only one who sees how crazy that is?"

It was inevitable. We were going to fight.

"She absolutely did _not _do it on purpose. No matter how much you resent her, you have to believe that" I paused. I might've been furious at what Janine had done to her daughter, but, truth be told, I had never doubted the fact that it was an accident. The look in her eyes had sealed the matter for me "She wouldn't do that, and anyway, I saw her later that day. She was worried about you"

"Probably more worried someone will bring her up on child abuse charges" Rose muttered darkly.

I tried a different approach "Don't you think this is the time of year for forgiveness?"

"This isn't a Christmas special!" She snapped "This is my life. In the real world, miracles and goodness just _don't happen_"

She_ is talking to _me _about the real world?_ I mentally snorted. _God has a wicked sense of humor, that much's for sure._

"In the real world, you can make your own miracles"

"Okay, can you just stop this for once?" Rose put her hands on her slim hips.

"Stop what?" I asked.

"The whole profound Zen crap thing" An eloquent description "You don't talk to me like a _real_ person. Everything you say is just some wise, life-lesson nonsense. You really do sound like a Christmas special"

"I swear, sometimes it's just like you want to hear yourself talk! And I _know_ you're not always this way" Rose's eyes were wide with hurt "You were perfectly normal when you talked to Tasha. But with _me_? You're just going through the motions. You don't care about me. You're just stuck in your stupid mentor role"

"I don't care about you?"

"No" Harsh was not enough to describe the dangerous anger coiled up in Rose's words "I'm another student to you. You just go on and on with your stupid life lessons so that–"

_What is going on here? What did I do? Why is she so fucking mad at me?_

_Does she _really_ think I don't care? Or is she just trying to hurt me?_

Well, if she was, it was working. I was, like her, both hurt and mad. And that was _not_ good. I grabbed the hand Rose had been jabbing at my chest to make her point and pushed it to the wall "_Don't _tell me what I'm feeling"

Now, I do not pretend to understand the female mind. I never have, and I probably never will, even with five women living with me for years. But I do know that Rose must've been even a _little_ high at the moment, because I'm pretty sure my face was screaming _angry!_ at her, and yet hers softened into tenderness "That's it, isn't it?"

"What?"

"You're always fighting for control. You're the same as me" She whispered.

"No. I've learned my control" I protested, desperately hoping she was wrong.

_Oh, who am I kidding? When it comes to me, Rose is almost never wrong. I would've been her best subject in school._

"No. You haven't. You put on a good face, and most of the time you do stay in control. But sometimes you can't" She guessed – correctly, of course, as usual. Rose's voice dropped to a husky whisper "And sometimes... Sometimes you don't _want_ to"

"Rose..."

She kissed me. Damn that woman to hell. She kissed me. And somewhere, way in the back of my mind – the rest of it was filled with Rose, Rose's smell, and Rose's hair – I kept nagging at myself that Daemon was gonna kill me for this.

Rose was a good enough kisser that I couldn't bring myself to care. I pressed her right up against the wall, until I could feel every inch of her molded to me, fitting into my body perfectly. Still holding her hand, I used one of mine to grab hold of that long, long hair.

_Clothes. Must go. Heaven. Oh, God. Bad. Bad. Mentor._

I literally had to push myself against the wall to jerk away from her. Away. Away was good. Away was safe. I stumbled back several steps. I could vaguely hear Daemon's deep voice and Alayah's high tone intertwining into a mess of jumbled words.

I took one look at Rose – with her hair messed up (by me) and her clothes wrinkled and those wet, swollen lips – and decided that, as much as I wanted to kiss her senseless and drive that hungry look from her face, it was definitely not advisable. I also decided that physical contact had to be, from there on, avoided as much as possible.

"Do _not_ do that again"

"Don't kiss me back then" Rose challenged.

I looked at her for what felt like a long, long time.

"I don't give 'Zen lessons' to hear myself talk. I don't give them because you're another student. I'm doing this to teach you _control_"

"You're doing a great job"

I closed my eyes, counted to ten for patience, and slowly let a deep breath out.

"God help us all. Please don't let me kill her" I muttered in Russian. Then, without another glance at Rose, I turned around and left the room, prepared to face the ire Daemon and Alayah were sure to hand out generously.

* * *

**So... was it worth the wait? So sorry!! Exams, lost copy of the book on my computer... my life is hell. Happy holidays =)**

**Also, I'm on a trip and I might not update too often. I'm so so so sorry, but I only see my family twice a year.**

**REVIEW BECAUSE IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!**


	8. Chapter 8

Alayah squealed, jumping up and down like an overexcited fangirl. _Ohmigod! Ohmigod! That was so hot! I can just imagine what your angry make-up sex will be like – that kind's always the best, you know…_

_No! No, no, no! There will be NO SEX OF ANY KIND! _Daemon roared. Alayah covered his mouth_._

_Oh, great. Way to ruin the moment, jackass. _She rolled her eyes. _That's it. You're punished. Hey, D, do we have scotch tape?_

I handed her a roll and watched her put some over Daemon's mouth. I sighed in relief at the silence. _Thanks_.

_Aw, don't worry about it. That was as much for my peace of mind as for yours_. Alayah took out some keys and locked Daemon in his room. I couldn't manage to feel sorry for him. _He can be such a bother, sometimes. Look, I'm gonna go find something to do in my room, K? Something tells me you should be thinking about that kiss right now_.

I sighed. What _am I gonna do? We have practice again after school. That's gonna be pretty awkward, huh?_

Alayah rolled her eyes again. _Well, cancel it, then, you idiot! God, I swear, what exactly men would do without women is unthinkable_…

I couldn't help but agree, especially if you consider – as I did – that women are necessary for a lot of reasons, the most important one being that they are the ones who actually give birth. Alayah slammed the door for the millionth time, a habit I'm pretty sure she got from Victoria's more dramatic side.

I plopped down on my bed, grabbed my phone, and sighed.

_What am I supposed to do anyway? Call her?_ Horrified, I shook my head. A phone call wouldn't go too well, that was for sure. Rose could probably yell a whole lot louder that way. _Text her, then? Yes, a text will do._

I know, I know. My social skills suck. I'm usually pretty good with girls, though – but not Rose. Hell no. Just my luck, huh? Now, stop laughing, OK?

_Rose. I canceled our next two sessions so we'll both have extra time to pack. Classes are about to end anyway, so don't worry, you won't fall behind. Dimitri_.

Knowing she was gonna see right through me but still hoping for the best, I sent the text. I would've prayed for a Christmas miracle – Rose's obliviousness – but Daemon probably prayed enough for the three of us.

_Scratch that,_ I thought. _He prays for the four of us – me, him, Alayah and that damned ego of his._

I snatched one of my Louis L'amour books and decided to read my way to Christmas morning. Guess what? It worked. Oh, yeah. I know I rock. Thanks for reminding me.

The first thing I did was call my sisters.

_And I am… weird._ I thought as I dialed. _What kind of guy calls his mother first thing in the morning?_

_A thoughtful one?_ Alayah volunteered. I smiled.

_Merry Christmas, A._

_Merry X-mas, D._ She gave me a quick hug and then sighed. _I guess I better go untangle Daemon…_

_Untangle? You need to untangle him?! My God, A._ She looked sheepish. _We are so dead_.

My mom – as usual – picked up the phone "Hello?"

"Hey, momma" I grinned "Merry Christmas"

"Merry Christmas, baby" Her voice wavered "I wish – I wish – you – were here with us"

"Aw, mom. Don't cry" I begged. Her sobs only got louder.

"Dimka?" I could almost _see_ Victoria standing in the kitchen, with one arm wrapped around my mother and the other one holding the phone to her ear "Mom's having a breakdown"

"Merry Christmas to you, too" I said sarcastically.

"Hey, wait a sec, would you?" She ignored me "Karo! Sonya! Phone!"

"Merry Christmas Dimka" They chorused. I answered appropriately.

"Is Mom still crying?" I asked.

"Unfortunately" Victoria answered.

"It's been happening way too often lately" Sonya added "We think it might be PMS. Or menopause"

Victoria laughed an agreement.

"Oh, _please_. Menopause? At 49? I am _so_ sure" Karo scoffed.

"Like _you_'d know anything about that. All you care about are your kids" Sonya said reasonably "Besides, Vicky's the genius, not you"

"Oh, you did _not _just go there–"

"OK, OK, OK" I broke in "And we breathe in… and out. Christmas, remember? 'Tis the season to be jolly, not to murder one's sister"

"You have no idea," Victoria muttered "How hard that can be sometimes. I swear, those goddamned pregnancy mood swings are making my life a living hell"

Something smashed against a wall – or the floor, it was hard to differentiate – and I grimaced. "Is everyone alive, over there?"

"Yep" Karo said cheerfully "Don't expect it to last too long, though. Ooh, Mom seems to be recovering. This'll be interesting"

I waited expectantly. The girls' fights were epic – so much so that the neighbors had actually reported us for domestic violence a number of times.

Sonya shrieked in Russian "Bitch! Stay _out_ of my room! OUT, DAMMIT! And stop slamming my door!"

"I – will – slam – whatever – I – want – to" Victoria punctuated each loud word with – you guessed it – a slam of what I supposed was Sonya's door.

"What is going on here?" My Mother demanded a bit hysterically "Who broke that vase?"

Silence was her answer.

"YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES. FIVE MINUTES. THIS BETTER BE CLEANED UP BY THE TIME I GET BACK HERE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND, LADIES?" She screamed, the drill-sergeant in her emerging.

I couldn't hear anything else over Karo's laughter. "And this happens often?"

"Oh, yes" She giggled "This place is a riot. You know how well Victoria reacts to being told what to do – and Sonya's pregnancy is making her bossier than ever"

"In short, we need an early baby" My mother concluded wearily "Oh, Dimka. If you were here…"

"…the screaming would be much, much louder" Karo finished.

"Right. Hey, where's Yeva?" I wondered.

"Outside doing God-knows-what" My Mother said, sounding like herself again. "But, tell, Dimka, how are you?"

"Pretty good" I answered. And then, because I just couldn't lie to my mom, I spilled the beans. "Well, not really. Rose kissed me"

Karo dropped the phone and squealed, managing to sound a lot like Alayah. "Sonya! Victoria! You have _got_ to hear this!"

"You kissed, didn't you?" Vicky guessed. "Oh my _God_. No wonder you're in such a good mood"

"Well? How was it? Is she any good?" Sonya demanded "Think like a girl, for once, Dimitri. We want details. And you better make it juicy"

"Think of it as your Christmas present to us" My Mother added.

How could I say no to that?

So I told them. I kid you not. I told them EVERYTHING. And they shrieked and screamed and squealed and swooned – a lot. And by the time Yeva came back, they still weren't done with it. So she grabbed a phone too and started listening.

And, hey, have you guys ever wondered how come all those words start with an s?

But I digress.

The whole thing must have taken me a little over an hour – I fully blame my sisters for this. Why, you ask? Simple. Because when _I_ – a poor, innocent child – was growing up, they taught me how to _gossip_. Like a _girl_. How to talk, think, and even see like a girl.

It's a wonder I didn't turn out gay. I mean, can you imagine it? I _am_ pretty intimidating, I'll admit, but you can't really respect a guy that just goes "And I was like, and she was like, and I was like, _no way_!"

Not that there's anything wrong with being gay. I'd just feel better if people didn't get that idea from listening to me. Particularly Rose.

And I'm getting off track again, huh? Sorry about that.

I hung up using Tasha as my excuse because, well, that always works for my mom. And because I'm pretty sure she'd never have let me go otherwise. Not until we'd dissected the meaning of every single word that had come out of Rose's mouth like my sisters often did after one of them talked to some guy. And that would've been falling too low – even for me, and I think we can all agree that my behavior is not exactly sexist. I wasn't lying, of course, Tasha really _had _invited me to a party. And, as I soon found out when Alayah rapped me on the head, I was late, too.

So I speed-showered (Alayah wouldn't let me skip the soap, though I'd argued it would save time) and put on the clothes she instructed without a whole lot of resistance.

_Hey,_ I began as I was pulling on my pants. _Where's Daemon?_

Alayah blushed a shade of red that I chose to consider a bad omen. _Well… I kind of… haven't, uh…_

_You haven't untied him yet?!!!!!!!!!_ And, yes, my question did deserve nine exclamation points next to it, don't you think?

_I know, I know._ She grimaced. _But it was just so… peaceful. And quiet_.

I couldn't say I blamed her, actually. But, still. _Go. Do it. NOW. I want to see him, A._

Grumbling a little, she set out towards Daemon's room and slammed the door. A moment later, a furious Daemon – and hey, I would've been pretty pissed too – burst out.

_I AM GOING TO KILL HER._ He roared. Alayah crossed her arms.

_Wouldn't that be against one of those beloved ten commandments of yours?_ I pointed out. _I hardly think God would approve._

_What God really wouldn't approve of,_ Daemon went on, _is of that – that – stubborn lady gagging me. Gagging me! For hours!_

_I am sure Alayah did this with everyone's best intentions in mind._ I answered, feeling a bit mentor-y_. Isn't that right, A?_

She nodded earnestly, slipping into her good-little-girl face as easily as any actress. _I'm _so_ sorry, Daemon. I didn't think you'd mind. I promise I'll never do it again._

I swear on the Bible that it was the sight of the redhead's big green eyes did him in – and not, as he claimed, the fact that a Good Christian was supposed to forgive everyone and "turn the other cheek". _Well… It is Christmas…_

Alayah jumped him and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a kiss on the cheek. _Thank you so much, D. You're a totally awesome guy._

Girls. They'll say whatever they have to to get away with their evil, horrific deeds.

Daemon smiled. Satisfied that we were all at peace once more, I pulled on a black sweater and began walking towards the Academy's guest quarters.

I couldn't believe we were supposed to have brunch. I mean, breakfast? OK, no problem. But _brunch_? Wasn't that supposed to be really elegant? I looked down at myself and shrugged. To hell with everything.

Tasha, Lissa, Christian, Rose and Mason were already there by the time I arrived. I quickly wished everyone a merry Christmas and sat down on an empty chair. Rose was turning redder by the minute.

"Hey, T" I said, biting into a muffin "The girls say hi. Oh, and my mom, too"

They didn't, really, but whatever. They would've. Besides, it was a great opener. And it made Tasha smile "That's so sweet of them. Don't forget to give them my best"

I nodded, and after that, the conversation just seemed to flow. We even ended up talking about one of my best friends, Artie, who I hadn't seen in years.

"And how's he doing?" I asked.

"Pretty well, considering how many kids he has" Tasha shook her head "I swear, I don't know how he can stand it. So much screaming…"

I went into shock "He has kids? Artie? Are you sure we're talking about the same guy?"

"Yeah, I know, right? I thought he'd been abducted by aliens and returned with a damaged brain when I heard about it" She laughed "And you haven't even heard the best part"

"What now? Did he divorce and marry his cat or something?"

"No" Tasha giggled "It's worse, actually"

"Aw, come on, T. Spill. The suspense is killing me" I teased.

"He has five – five! – children" I couldn't help it. I choked on my orange juice and began coughing. Tasha laughed hysterically at my reaction.

"Five? I hadn't heard _that_" I shuddered.

"It's insane. I swear, I don't think his wife's had more than six months off between kids. She's short, too— so she just gets wider and wider" Tasha rolled her eyes.

"When I first met him, he swore he didn't even want kids" I mused.

"I know! I can't believe it. You should see him now. He just melts around them. I can't even understand him half the time. I swear, he speaks more baby talk than English"

I smiled, remembering when I had held Paul for the first time "Well…children do that to people"

"I can't imagine it happening to you" If she only knew "You're always so stoic. Of course… I suppose you'd be doing baby talk in Russian, so no one would ever know"

I laughed. That actually made sense.

Tasha watched, unsure whether to be amused or horrified, as I scarfed down six eggs, a whole lot of bacon, four more muffins, two cups of fruit with yogurt and three slices of french toast drenched in honey. What? I was hungry!

"Liss… I can't… You can't give me something like this" Rose sounded on the verge of tears. I turned to see her holding a small rosary with the Dragomir crest on it reverently.

"Well, I certainly can't keep it. It's meant for a guardian. My guardian" Lissa shrugged.

Rose grinned "You know, there's a good possibility I'll get kicked out of school before I can become your guardian"

Lissa smiled back "Well, then you can give it back"

We all laughed. Suddenly, the door opened and Tasha stood up. "Janine!"

Rose's mother stood at the door, looking extremely uncomfortable "Sorry I'm late. I had business to take care of"

I turned just in time to catch Rose's reaction. She made a little moue with her lips, frowning. Her face flushed once more.

_How can she be so sexy without even trying?_ I wondered, squirming to hide my erection. _That is so unfair._

I spent the rest of the meal thinking of myself under a cold, cold shower. The rest of the meal meaning the five minutes it took Lissa to drag Christian away, Rose and Mason to disappear to go do God-knows-what and Janine to say goodbye and leave. Burning with jealousy, I followed Tasha to her room.

"Dimitri" She began "I need to talk to you"

"Uh, sure" I said slowly, weirded out by the serious look on her face.

"OK" Tasha took a deep breath and motioned for me to sit down on her bed. Then, without even the slightest warning, she blurted "I love you"

I freaked. I am not ashamed to admit it. I was really creeped out. Me and Tasha? I had never even considered it. She was like… she was like my fucking sister, for God's sake! My eyes widened and I ran a hand through my hair.

Alayah gasped_. Mother-fucking, cunt-loving daughter of a bitch! Idiotic skank! Whore! Slut! Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod…_

Tasha looked down at her hands "I knew it. I _knew_ you'd act this way, but Janine seemed to think it was a good idea – she said I should ask you. Because I really want you to be my guardian"

_Yes!_ Daemon began jumping up and down gleefully. _This is perfect! You'll get away from Rose, clear your mind…_

_You're just saying that because you like her. _Alayah accused, turning to me. _Dimitri, trust me. This'd be the worst mistake of your life. You can't leave Rose. You just can't! Not Rose. You'll fall apart without her–_

_Bull. Shit. Bullshit, Alayah!_ Daemon roared. _He's being a pedophile and you know it!_

_Remember when Natalie hurt her? Huh? _Alayah demanded, hands on her hips. _Well, this would be worse. You know why? Because you would be the one hurting her, not some random bitch. _

_You know you like Tasha._ Daemon wheedled. _You don't wanna hurt her either, do you? Ruin your friendship?_

_You take this offer, Belikov, and I swear I will never talk to you again._ Alayah screeched.

_Another bonus!_ Daemon clapped. _See? This was meant to be!_

I put my aching head in my hands. Tasha's hand found its way to my shoulder.

"Hey" She said softly "Don't worry about it. I – I know you don't feel the same way. Just… think about the guardian thing, would you?"

I nodded, gave Tasha a hug and disappeared into the night, my thoughts revolving around one thing – well, one question, actually: Could I really, truly bear to leave Rose?

* * *

**Ooh, cliffie. Sorry this took so long! Happy Holidays! BTW, this happens at the same time as Rose hears this from Janine - which is why I made T confide in her. **

**LOL. What was your fav part of this chapter? Review and let me knoiw!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The ski trip was, hands down, the best thing that had happened to me during the break. Rose's kiss – well, I still wasn't too sure how I felt about that. And anyway, packing my stuff did a really good job taking my mind off Tasha's feelings and the decision I would have to make too soon for my liking. Because it wasn't just Tasha this affected. I'd have to choose between Tasha and Rose.

And Daemon and Alayah were making it that much harder for me, wearing some pathetic shirts and claiming to be 'Team Tasha' and 'Team Rose.'

Alayah chose that particular moment to come out of her room with a bucket of paint in her hands. She looked at me seriously.

"Your decision will change all our lives, Dimka" She said, dipping in her brush and scrawling 'Roska' on her door.

"A? What the fuck are you writing?" I asked her, flabbergasted.

"Rose plus Dimka equals Roska, D. Anyone would know that" She shrugged "This is for the best. Really. You and Rose will work this out in no time"

I sadly doubted that.

December 26 arrived thankfully soon. I climbed onto the plane the minute it landed, anxious to get to that damned ski lodge and forget my problems for a while.

And then Tasha sat down next to me. I _knew_ I should've put my luggage there.

She smiled. "Hey"

"Hey" I answered, inwardly groaning. Could it be more awkward? I mean, really?

_There is no God_.

Tasha soon decided that, like it or not, she was gonna put me up-to-date on everything ranging from our mutual friends' lives down to what color her new front windows were.

The flight was short, however, and Tasha didn't really get a chance to prattle on for too long. Soon, the gigantic, cabin-resembling hotel loomed before us. I sighed, euphoric.

_Freedom. Freedom with a view._ I added, taking a look around. _Maybe life doesn't suck so much, after all, though it'd certainly be much better with a good soundtrack. And free cupcakes._

The inside was even nicer than the outside, though. My room must've been around the size of my house's old second floor. The first thing I did, though, was plop down on onto the gigantic bed and bury my face in the mound of pillows. I sighed contentedly.

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until someone began pounding on my door like hitting it would cause world peace. I rubbed my eyes groggily. It was way too late to be up.

"Coming" I yelled hoarsely. Tasha opened the door.

"Oh, good. You're awake" She smiled.

I could've killed her right then.

"Yeah, thanks to you" I grunted "What's with you and the door, anyway? Did it cheat on you or something?"

She rolled her eyes "That was so not funny. Besides, I thought you'd like to hear about Rose"

I instantly felt more awake "What happened? Is she ok? Let me guess, she killed someone, didn't she?"

"Almost. She broke Mason's leg" Tasha giggled.

"Oh" I was too pleased for words. "What'd _he_ do to piss her off? I thought she liked him"

"He didn't piss her off – he probably knows better than that, they've been friends since they were kids" She shrugged. "They were just fooling around on the sloped, trying to do some tricks…"

It took everything in me to try to hide my disappointment. But then I cheered up. The kid had a broken leg. That'd be sure to keep him off the slopes for a while. "And you woke me up because?"

"Well, Mason didn't actually break his leg – he only sprained his ankle. But it could've been so much worse. He could've been killed, Dimitri – _both _of them could've. Rose went ahead of him"

"You said she was fine!" I accused.

"She is" Tasha assured me "But you should talk to her anyway, don't you think? _Before_ she gets hurt"

I nodded. "I'll go look for her, then. But does it really have to be now?"

Tasha pointed at the door in response "Go"

I shuffled outside, cursing my pathetic excuse for a life. The lobby was empty except for some old guys hanging out in the corners. Frowning, I ventured outside.

A tall, brown haired Moroi was leaning against the wall, reeking of alcohol and puffing out smoke like a chimney, watching life go by. He turned to look at me. "Looking for someone?"

"Yes, sir. Have you seen a girl named Rose Hathaway? Seventeen, short, really dark brown hair? Has the hugest black eye you've ever seen?" I asked.

The guy thought about it "Nope. Don't think so. She sounds hot – I'd probably remember her" He smiled at my dark expression "Oh, sorry, man. Is she your girl or something?"

"She's my student, actually" The guy got a rather amused expression on his face "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing. You just don't look like the kind of guy that has the hots for his pupils, that's all" He shrugged.

I bristled, struggling to remain polite. "I do not – never mind. Just keep an eye out for her, would you?" He nodded "Good night"

It wasn't. A good night, I mean. At least for me. I couldn't fall asleep again thinking of the thing with Tasha.

I toyed with the idea of taking her offer for a moment, letting myself imagine it. It would be so _easy_… so _uncomplicated_…

I woke up a few hours later without knowing what a suck-ass day it was gonna be. I'd been sitting at the lodge's restaurant for five minutes before Hank came over. I waved goodbye to my retreating appetite sadly. The food was good.

"So, what are you gonna do about Hathaway and Ivashkov?" He asked.

I frowned "What are you talking about _now_?"

"Oh. You don't know, do you?" Hank grinned "Your student and Adrian Ivashkov got drunk last night. Rumor says they hooked up"

Adrian Ivashkov… my God. How had I missed it? That guy looked so much like his father, it was a wonder I didn't call him Jack. And if Adrian was the dark-haired Moroi from the porch…

He'd known I was looking for Rose. I'd told the most unpredictable, addicted, crazy fucktard in the known world to keep an eye out for his female counterpart.

God hates me. He really does. If he didn't, he wouldn't let me do so many retarded things.

"Holy mother of crap" I muttered, still not over the shock. My stupidity can be truly astounding sometimes. Alayah rolled her eyes as Daemon smacked his Bible to his forehead impulsively and then kissed it in apology.

Hank smiled, pleased at the reaction his bombshell had caused.

While I highly doubted the fact that Rose had gone off to fuck a guy she'd just met, I couldn't help but worry about Adrian Ivashkov. He was quite an infamous fellow, let me tell you. I swear, that boy was willing to sleep with anything that possessed a vagina. I didn't think Rose was the type of girl to let a womanizer have his way with her, but then again, she was a constant source of surprises. "I have to go"

The rest of the day was spent looking for the most elusive girl on the Earth's surface. I looked here, I looked there, I looked goddamn _everywhere_! Locating Rosemarie Hathaway was about as hard as finding Wally. Or blue aliens. Or a nice Strigoi.

I gave up at about ten o' clock. The lodge was simply too fucking big.

I showered and fell into a restless sleep, dreaming of brown-haired men.

Calls at three a.m. are strange. Some are great news, like when Karo was in the hospital having Paul and insisted that I had not only to know right the fuck then but that it was also necessary that I hear her push. That's right. I heard my sister have her baby. And I was disturbingly proud of her.

But this call just couldn't bring good news. Why? Because my life is a piece of shit, that's why. So when I answered the phone, I just had to hear Janine Hathaway go "Guardian Belikov? There's been an attack."

* * *

**Hey guys! Sorry this took so long but I'm punished and can't go out for a month (grades. eww) so the coming updates should be quicker. Love you all!!!**

**.......................................................................R...............E...............V..............I.............E............W............................................................................**


	10. Chapter 10

I stood in Janine's room with people hurrying around me, feeling as young and insecure as I ever had while Guardian Hathaway quickly informed me of what had happened.

"Eleven Moroi – eight dead, three missing. Five guardians, all dead, too" She said, sadness in her usually hard eyes.

"So… what? About ten Strigoi?" I asked "But… that's impossible. How could they've been working together? Such a large number is…"

The door opened and Rose and Lissa came in to be greeted with odd looks. Rose's eyes flickered to me and I quickly dropped my gaze.

"Unlikely, I know" She answered. "But facts are facts, Guardian Belikov, and there had to be more than last time"

"More? That last group was unheard of. I still can't believe five Strigoi managed to work together – you expect me to believe they managed to get more organized still?" Hank asked.

"Yes" Janine spat.

"Any evidence of humans?"

"Yes. More broken wards. And the way it was all conducted...it's identical to the Badica attack" She said wearily. "They don't have forensic details yet, but the same number of Strigoi couldn't have done this. None of the Drozdovs or their staff escaped. With five guardians, seven Strigoi would have been preoccupied-at least temporarily-for some to escape. We're looking at nine or ten, maybe"

"Janine's right" I agreed "And if you look at the venue...it's too big. Seven couldn't have covered it"

"So what were all those Moroi doing together anyway?" Hank asked.

"They were having a party" The older Hathaway admitted.

"First Badicas, now Drozdovs" Gunther murmured "They're going after royals"

"They're going after Moroi" I corrected "Royal. Non-royal. It doesn't matter"

It took a while, but eventually, everyone got something to do and began doing it instead of standing around asking the most stupid questions on Earth. Well, everyone except Janine.

"Rose. What are you doing here?" See what I mean? Stupid question. So stupid, in fact, Rose didn't even bother answering.

"Who else was killed?" She asked instead.

"Drozdovs" Her mother answered impatiently.

"But who _else_?" Rose insisted.

"Rose, we don't have time–"

"They had staff, right? Dimitri said non-royals. Who were they?" She pressed.

"I don't know all the names" Janine said sadly, letting her daughter look at the clipboard in her hands "There"

"Ok. Thanks" Rose grimaced as she finished with the list.

Both the girls left shortly after the odd exchange and I was left to organize the guards. We would now double the security at the lodge and, to tell the truth, I was flattered that Janine trusted me enough to give me such an important job to do.

Daemon, upon hearing the news, had quietly retreated to his little chapel to "pray for those that were now gone." Alayah had, in a rare show of solidarity, joined him soon afterwards, and I couldn't help but be thankful for the quiet in my mind. I had things to do.

After re-checking that everyone had double shifts and four guardians were stationed outside at all times, I decided I could do nothing – and neither could anyone else – until we all had more information.

Tasha stood in the hallway outside the make-shift headquarters, pacing. She whirled to face me as soon as she heard me shut the door and flew into my arms. "Dimka!"

"Hey" I said "What's wrong?"

Tasha smiled a watery smile and wiped her tears away. "A friend of mine was in there"

I froze "Who?"

She shook her head "No one you know"

Tasha stifled a sob with her hand and I led her back to her room, sitting down on the bed. It was there, with her crying in my arms, that I realized how easy things would actually be. For us. Being with Tasha was as easy as breathing, for me, and she was really nice – the kind of girl I'd always imagined being with. And maybe I didn't love her, but I could. After some time.

Me and Rose… well, it just wasn't possible. We were something more widely-known as star-crossed lovers. What we had – it wouldn't work out. We'd be going against society, two people against the world. Maybe it was time to face it. Time to finally move on.

Tasha must've sensed my change of attitude, because she chose that particular moment to put her lips to mine in a soft, gentle kiss. And it was as easy as I'd imagined it to be. Comfortable. Safe.

Alayah frowned and hit my weak spot. _Is this really fair to Tasha? Having her be your sloppy seconds?_

_She's not sloppy seconds. _Daemon sniffed. _Just because Dimitri hadn't noticed the love he felt for her…_

_Love, my ass. _Alayah spat. _You know this isn't it, D. Yes, you could love her – if Rose wasn't an option. Do you really wanna let her waste the rest of her life loving you just because you didn't have the balls to try with Rose?_

I pulled away from Tasha and stood up. "I have to go. Hank's waiting for me"

She sniffed and nodded. "Yeah… you should go"

Feeling like an undecided asshole, I did.

***

A more composed Tasha found me picking at my breakfast some hours later. She sat down next to me and smiled. "Not too hungry, are you? I never thought I'd live to see the day when Dimitri Belikov would leave food on his plate"

"Neither did I"

She shrugged. "Anyway, there's gonna be a meeting at the banquet hall. You should go"

I looked up, interested "When?"

"In five minutes" Tasha answered, tugging on my arm. "Come on. We both know you're not gonna eat anything"

I reluctantly followed her to a room filled with chairs. Most royals sat in front, huddled together by family.

"You should go sit over there" I told her "Represent the family, and all that. I'll find a place in the back"

Nodding, Tasha quickly slipped away to find a seat. I wandered around the room, seeing no one familiar but Lissa and Christian, sitting near to where Tasha was. I scanned the room once more… and my gaze fell on Rose and Mason.

Deciding I probably wasn't gonna get a better place than that, I hurried over to them and sat on Rose's other side, not making a noise. She jumped a little, but wisely chose to say nothing.

_Jeez, D. Jealous, much?_ Alayah asked, smiling a little.

Daemon merely made his usual, unoriginal remark. _Pedophile_.

And, because I was sick and tired of him, I thumped him over the head. _Dude, suck it, would you? First of all, Rose is seventeen, and by now, the government and society consider her an almost-adult, and hardly a child. Therefore, my conclusion is that not only do you really need to loosen up, you are just jealous that I'm more likely to get some than you. Got it?_

It took my anger at Daemon a while to die out, and, by the time I was calm, the meeting was well under way.

"If we could emulate this model… we'd never have to worry about Strigoi again" A man was saying excitedly.

"And Moroi could never interact with the rest of the world again. Well, until humans discovered secret vampire cities sprouting up in the wilderness. Then we'd have _lots _of interactions" Rose muttered darkly.

"The problem is simply that we don't have enough guardians. And so, the answer is simple: get more. The Drozdovs had five guardians, and that wasn't enough. Only six to protect over a dozen Moroi! That's unacceptable. It's no wonder these kinds of things keep happening" Monica Szelsky argued.

"Where do you propose getting more guardians from? They're kind of a limited resource" The other speaker pressed.

I snorted. _So this is what oil feels like_.

Monica pointed – rudely, in my opinion, didn't she have any manners? – towards us "We've got plenty already. I've watched them train. They're deadly. Why are we waiting until they turn eighteen? If we accelerated the training program and focused more on combat training than bookwork, we could turn out new guardians when they're sixteen"

I could've killed her. _Sixteen? Sixteen?! This has to be a joke._

"Not only that, we have plenty of potential guardians going to waste. Where are all the dhampir women? Our races are intertwined. The Moroi are doing their part to help the dhampirs survive. Why aren't these women doing theirs? Why aren't they here?"

Tasha's laugh rang out. Standing, she turned to the moderator "May I?"

The man nodded and the Monica sat down. Tasha strode towards the podium.

"Those women aren't here, Monica, because they're too busy raising their children—you know, the ones you want to start sending out to the fronts as soon as they can walk. And please don't insult us all by acting like the Moroi do a huge favor to the dhampirs by helping them reproduce. Maybe it's different in your family, but for the rest of us, sex is fun. The Moroi doing it with dhampirs aren't really making that big of a sacrifice" Realizing I was crouching forwards, I straightened up in my chair.

"And the reason we're waiting for these guardians to turn eighteen is so that we can allow them to enjoy some pretense of a life before forcing them to spend the rest of their days in constant danger. They need those extra years to develop mentally as well as physically. Pull them out before they're ready, treat them like they're parts on an assembly line—and you're just creating Strigoi fodder" Though some people gasped, I couldn't help but agree at Tasha's eloquent choice of words.

"You create more fodder still if you try making the other dhampir women become guardians. You can't force them into that life if they don't want it. This entire plan of yours to get more guardians relies on throwing children and the unwilling into harm's way, just so you can—barely—stay one step ahead of the enemy. I would have said it's the stupidest plan I've ever heard, if I hadn't already had to listen to _his_" The male speaker flushed.

"Enlighten us then, Natasha" He said pompously "Tell us what you think we should do, seeing as you have so much experience with Strigoi"

My hands fisted up. Tasha merely smiled.

"I think we should stop coming up with plans that involve us relying on someone or something to protect us. You think there are too few guardians? That's not the problem. The problem is there are too many Strigoi. And we've let them multiply and become more powerful because we do nothing about them except have stupid arguments like this. We run and hide behind the dhampirs and let the Strigoi go unchecked. It's our fault. _We_ are the reason those Drozdovs died. You want an army? Well, here we are. Dhampirs aren't the only ones who can learn to fight. The question, Monica, isn't where the dhampir women are in this fight. The question is: Where are _we_?"

Monica frowned, disbelieving "Surely you aren't suggesting the Moroi fight alongside the guardians when the Strigoi come"

"No. I'm suggesting the Moroi and the guardians go fight the Strigoi before they come" Tasha answered.

Andrew Ivashkov stood up angrily "Oh, So, you're going to just give us clubs and stakes and send us off to do battle?"

Tasha smiled at the idea "If that's what it takes, Andrew, then sure. But there are other weapons we can learn to use, too. Ones the guardians can't"

_Oh, no, T. Bad idea. I mean, it's a good idea, but it's sure as Hell not gonna be accepted._

_Don't swear. _Alayah chided absent-mindedly.

Daemon snorted. _God, what a hypocrite_.

She hit him. _Shut up_. _I'm trying to listen._

Andrew rolled his eyes "Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Like this" Tasha did a pretty hand gesture and Andrew's sweater burst into flames.

* * *

**OOHHH... flamees. Purty.**

**Dimka's been having revelations... dun dun dun. So which lines did you like best???**


	11. Chapter 11

Every-screaming-body agreed on one thing, and one thing alone: Tasha was wrong. Well, everyone except me, at least. And I couldn't be sure, but I was willing to bet Rose and Mason shared my view on the subject.

I stood up. The room was a flurry of chaos, everyone trying to be the loudest so they could be heard. Tasha would have a hard time getting out – served her right for letting her drama queen tendencies win.

"You might as well leave. Nothing useful's going to happen now" I told Rose. She and Mason both stood up, but when I finally emerged, only Hathaway was beside me.

"Shouldn't you be in there protecting Tasha?" She asked "Before the mob gets her? She's gonna get in big trouble for using magic like that"

I raised an eyebrow. I hadn't known Rose was mad enough to wish me gone "She can take care of herself"

She rolled her eyes "Yeah, yeah, because she's a badass karate magic user. I get all that. I just figured since you're gonna be her guardian and all…"

I froze "Where did you hear that?"

Rose shrugged, and then, sounding straight out of a James Bond movie, she went, "I have my sources"

Sources? And then I got it. Tasha had mentioned talking to Janine, hadn't she?

_Shitholes and fucktards, she's probably pissed as Hell_. Alayah's eyes were wide. _Though she's good at hiding it. I wonder if she's ever taken acting classes…_

"You've decided to, right?" Rose asked "I mean, it sounds like a good deal, seeing as she's gonna give you fringe benefits"

_Gosh, D, for your sake, I hope that girl's bark is worse than her bite._ Alayah laughed.

_It isn't_. Damon replied, butting in. _Trust me_.

"What happens between her and me is none of your business" I said, because, first of all, it wasn't, and second, I was pissed too. I mean, you tell a girl you love her but you can't be together and the next thing you know, she's getting all jealous because she just assumed you're hooking up with someone else.

_Oh, so Rose can be Mason's girlfriend but I don't even have the right to consider Tasha's offer?_ I fumed. _Forget it. Like I need another reason to take it._

"Well, I'm sure you guys'll be happy together" She said pleasantly "She's just your type, too – I know how much you like women who aren't your own age. I mean, she's what, six years older than you? Seven? And I'm seven years younger"

My head spun around for a minute, and it wasn't from a kiss like in that Taylor Swift song Victoria likes so much, either. I couldn't – I really _couldn't_ believe Rose had just said that. Not my Rose.

Everything was silent for a moment. "Yes, you are" I said "And every second this conversation goes on, you only prove how young you really are"

The hurt left Rose's eyes as quickly as it came, and her expression turned into the steely determination she rarely wore.

_Bastard._ Alayah hissed. _She gave you a verbal slap, yeah. But that – that was a fucking punch, Dimitri._

_I am ashamed to know you._ Damon said over the sound of Alayah's door slamming. _That was crossing the line. I might not like her, but, dude…_

"Little dhampir" Someone called. I started and Rose turned. There stood Adrian Ivashkov in all his cock-sucking glory, leering at Rose. He nodded at me.

"I don't want to interrupt or anything" He said "Just wanna talk to you when you have time"

I frowned. _Yeah, because talking is surely the first thing he thinks of when he looks at Rose._

I was sure she was gonna tell him to go away, and then, the smile came out. _THE_ smile. Rose's patented, cock-raising, man-eater smile. The smile that made her look like she was a tigress luring in her prey.

I am embarrassed to admit that Little Dimka came out to play, waving the white flag of surrender.

Rose put a hand on Adrian's arm "I've got time now" She purred, then nodded at me and began leading Ivashkov away "See you later, Guardian Belikov"

I left, more than willing to go to my room and take a long, cold shower.

***

I'd been in the bathroom for little over half an hour when someone knocked on the door.

"Dimka?" Tasha's voice rang out "How long have you been in there? Think of how much water you're wasting!"

"I'll be out in a sec" I answered, closing the faucet and wrapping a towel around my middle. I hadn't take my clothes in with me, so I had to endure the nearly-freezing cold as I rummaged around my drawers until I found something decent. Tasha stared at my chest as I straightened up "How'd you get in here anyway?"

She rolled her eyes "You left the door open, stupid"

"Oh. So much for being a badass Strigoi-killer, huh?" I joked. Tasha laughed.

"What where you doing, anyway? You missed the best fight _ever_" She gushed.

I frowned "They tried to hurt you?"

"Oh, no" Tasha rolled her eyes "But they had to direct all their anger-fueled testosterone somewhere, you know? So these totally random guys started hitting each other, and everyone was screaming… Yeah. It was fun"

"Hmm" I grunted.

"You don't sound too impressed" Tasha noted "So I'll ask again: what were you doing?"

"Stuff" I answered.

"Gee, vague, much?" She insisted "Come on, tell me already!"

"I. Was. Masturbating" I said slowly. "Got it? Or should I say it again?"

Tasha threw a pillow at me "Eww! TMI, Dimka! God, that is so gross!"

I shrugged and she frowned for a second.

"Were you joking? You were totally joking, weren't you?"

"Guess you'll never know"

* * *

**Hmmm... and neither will yoou guys. LOL.**

**Sorry this was so short!!!!!! I'll make the next chapter as long as I can to make up for it, I swear, but sometimes, though lots of stuff happens to Rose in a chapter, not much happens to Dimka. **


	12. Chapter 12

"Guardian Belikov?" It was freaking six a.m. and I really needed to sleep. You can't look hot with bags under your eyes – or so Alayah claims – and makeup on guys really isn't too… un-gay-ish? Yeah, that's the word. Not that I have anything against gays. It's not like they need me judging them. But I still wouldn't like to be mistaken for one – most normal guys wouldn't.

That does not mean you should, in any way, assume I possess anything that resembles normalcy in even the smallest of ways. Because, well, I don't.

"Speaking, ma'am" I cleared my throat, still a little groggy. Alayah – who's really terrible in the morning – buried her head in a pillow and threw the other one at me. _Shut up. Sleep_.

"We just received more information about the attack" Janine Hathaway said bluntly.

I perked up "I'm listening"

"I don't… I think it would be best for you to hear this in person" She commented.

_Oh, shit_. Daemon groaned. _It's just like me to get stuck inside the most unlucky guy's head, isn't it? Damn it!_

I frowned. _This must be bad_ "I'll be right there"

Before I knew it, I was dressed and ready to go. I quietly stalked all the way over to Janine's room, which was farther away than Tasha's, beyond the gigantic Ivashkov wing.

Finally, just as I was about to knock, Rose's mom swung the door open and motioned me in. The room was almost empty except for three other people, guardians I did not recognize.

"Sit down everyone" We all sat on the bed. "I just received the witness' testimonies. Some – most, actually – noticed the plates because each one was from a different state. So far, they all agreed that one of the cars' plates were from New York. We have one witness though, who claims to have spotted the plate number"

"A reliable one?" One of the men beside me asked. His dark skin and eyes stood out amidst so much whiteness, and he looked old enough that there were speckles of silver in his hair.

"Yes, extremely so, in fact. He was once a police chief in a small town" Janine shrugged "I'll admit, it's not much to go on, but the plate _is _registered"

"Where?" A blonde woman asked.

"Spokane"

_Spokane? Washington? Seriously? Could they have possibly chosen a more boring, lifeless place if they'd tried?_ I wondered. _I mean, come on. Who'd think of vampires in Spokane. That's like… putting pink ribbons on a rabid Rottweiler. It's just so wrong on so many levels._

"So what do we do now?" I asked. Janine sighed.

"I called you because you're each experts in some area. Gianna, for some reason or another, you are wonderful at anticipating the opponent's moves. You, Seth, are an excellent tactician, but a bit ruthless at times. Hugh is here because he balances you out. And Dimitri… well, Guardian Belikov, you're gonna be the voice of reason in this mess"

_Oh, the irony, the irony._

Daemon snorted.

"Suggestions, anyone?" Janine asked.

It was clearly the wrong thing to do.

Seth – the dark-hair-eyes-and-basically-everything guy – jumped up and began talking as quickly and loudly as he could. Gianna was trying to talk to Janine like a normal person, but Hugh's attempts to calm his friend down were impeding that. Me? I gaped. Oh, yeah. Like a fish.

"People!" Gianna shrieked "Would everyone just _shut up_ for a minute?"

She was answered with blessed, blessed silence.

"Thank you. Now, Janine, we can't do anything rash until we know exactly _where_ they are" She pointed.

"Precisely" Guardian Hathaway dead-panned. "I need you, Dimitri, checking out whether the address was real. Hugh, choose someone else – someone you'd trust with your _life_ – to go take a look around Spokane. Seth, you'd better accompany him. And Gianna… You'll have to help me think this out"

Everyone began scrambling off, but Gianna then raised her voice. "If anyone else finds out about this – and I _do_ mean _anyone_, Guardians–"

"Why so hush-hush?" Seth asked.

"We don't want novices – or other Guardians – playing hero" Janine said "If they knew where they are – if this information got out…"

She didn't have to finish. We all knew what she meant. It would be chaos, some dying to go kill Strigoi, some cowering in fear.

Everyone nodded. Keeping this a secret was crucial.

Dismissed, Seth and Hugh hurried outside. I whipped out my phone.

Time to work.

***

They really _were_ in Spokane. I, for one, had found it hard to believe at first. But Hugh and Seth had gotten reports of sightings, and they'd gone underneath a tiny mall to check it out. Sure enough, evidence of the Strigoi's presence was there, though none were actually present at the time. I couldn't decide whether I should be thankful or enraged.

The plate's address, though, was fake. I couldn't help but be relieved.

Of course we would not be attacking Strigoi like cavemen/alpha-males anytime soon, but wherever testosterone is filled with fury, the temptation to kill someone is present. Though I am a fairly peaceful person, considering my life-style, I really wanted to go bash someone's head in. Those things had killed _children_. But I don't intend to die anytime soon, and I didn't then, and my plans failed when they were made in the spur-of-the-moment.

So you see why it was better that I didn't know exactly where to find them.

I looked around. Janine was rattling off information to whatever poor bastard was currently taking the Guardian Council's calls. Figuring I wasn't too useful and had a cell-phone on my person, I decided my presence was neither necessary nor desirable, and slipped quietly out the door. Procedures had taken more time than we'd expected, and it was already 8 a.m. – a good enough time for breakfast, in my humble opinion.

I made my way down the hallway with a grumbling stomach, deciding to focus my attention on the _one_ problem I had that could be easily solved.

With a quick prayer, I slipped past Tasha's room, hoping she wouldn't choose that particular moment to head out. I wasn't ready to face her – I was freaking out – I hadn't made a decision yet.

_It's about time you did, you know_. Alayah began.

_You can't procrastinate forever_. Daemon – surprisingly – agreed.

I snorted. _Watch me_.

Ok, so I was being a bitch. Who cares? In my defense, I _hate_ it when people tell me what I can or cannot do. My amazingly clever creativity must in no way be limited by those with more narrow minds.

This is what I was thinking of when I heard it. Rose's raised voice, as high-pitched as it usually got when she was angry, rang out clearly. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Ladies, ladies" It took me about five seconds to realize it was the infamous Adrian Ivashkov speaking "No need to fight over me"

I couldn't decide whether to be turned on by the idea of Rose involved in a cat-fight or jealous that she was jealous of Adrian Ivashkov.

Did that even make sense?

"We're not" Rose snapped "I just wanna know what's going on here"

By that time, I was standing right behind her. "Me too"

She jumped a foot in the air but recovered amazingly quickly, turning around to face me. I looked into the room – shy, obedient Lissa stood there, blushing furiously.

Who would've thought?

_Still think she's so much better than Rose now?_ Alayah laughed. Daemon didn't even dignify that comment with a response.

My eyebrow hitched up. "Male and female students aren't supposed to be in each other's rooms"

I nearly cut my veins right then.

_Oh, how delightfully creative of you, Dimitri. _Daemon rolled his eyes.

The worst part was that it was all I could think of right then.

Rose – wisely – chose to direct her frustration towards the Ivashkov brat "How do you keep _doing_ this?"

"Do what?" He asked, puzzled.

"Keep making us look bad!"

"You guys are the ones who came here" He pointed.

"You shouldn't have let them in. I'm sure you know the rules at St. Vladimir's"

The bastard shrugged "Yeah, but I don't have to follow any school's stupid rules"

"Perhaps not" I admitted "But I would have thought you'd still respect those rules"

Adrian rolled his eyes. "I'm kind of surprised to find you lecturing about underage girls"

I could've killed him. Hell, I _should've_ killed him. I mean, it was the perfect opportunity. The two witnesses not only liked me too much to denounce me, they also didn't know him well enough to choose him over me.

Sadly, I did not take that chance.

"Besides, nothing sordid was going on" He said "We were just hanging out"

"If you wanna _hang out_ with young girls, do it at one of the public areas" I spat.

_Christ. Green looks horrible on you, Dimitri_. Alayah frowned.

Adrian laughed – a Michael-Jackson-just-came-in-my-room-and-might-rape-me kind of laugh. Without looking, I knew my arms were covered in goose-bumps. Rose shuddered.

"Young girls? _Young_ girls? Sure. Young and old at the same time. They've barely seen anything in life, yet they've already seen too much. One's marked with life, and one's marked with death…but they're the ones you're worried about? Worry about yourself, dhampir. Worry about you, and worry about me. We're the ones who are young" Adrian finished.

_???????????? _

That is all I have to say about that. Fortunately, Daemon was more eloquent.

_The Lord up in Heaven help us, this guy is clinically insane._ _He needs a reverend. Or an exorcism._

Insane/Possessed turned towards his window and took some cigs from his pocket. "You ladies should probably go. He's right. I _am_ a bad influence"

Well, at least he _admitted_ it.

Lissa and Rose both followed me towards the lobby without any comments.

"That was… _strange_" Rose soon said, stating the obvious.

"_Very_" I agreed.

Lissa soon turned to go to her own room, and Rose was about to go after her when I called her back. "Rose. Can I talk to you?"

I already knew she'd say yes.

"That's _Adrian Ivashkov_" I began

"Yeah, I know"

She wasn't getting it. Rose could be deliberately dense sometimes "This is the second time I've seen you with him"

"Yeah, we hang out sometimes" She shrugged.

_I wasn't aware 'hanging out' meant that the boy was trying to get into the girl's Levi's these days_. I thought.

Instead of saying what was on my mind – which would've probably earned me a slap – I raised my eyebrow "You hang out in his room a lot?"

"What happens between him and me is none of your business" Rose said coldly.

"Actually, as long as you're at the Academy, what you do _is_ my business" I pointed.

She shook her head "Not my personal life. You don't have _any_ say in that"

"You're not an adult yet" I began.

"I'm close enough" Rose interrupted "Besides, it's not like I'll magically become an adult on my eighteenth birthday"

"Clearly"

Rose flushed "That's not what I meant. I meant—"

"I know what you meant. And the technicalities don't matter right now" Then, I pulled out my least favorite, but most effective retort "You're an Academy student. I'm your instructor. It's my job to help you and to keep you safe. Being in the bedroom of someone like him… well, that's not safe"

"I can handle Adrian Ivashkov" Rose said, even though I already knew that "He's weird— _really_ weird, apparently—but harmless"

After a few moments, Rose spoke again "Speaking of personal lives … I suppose you were off visiting Tasha, huh?"

"Actually, I was visiting your mother" I answered.

_That came out wrong_. Alayah said.

_Oh, yeah_. Daemon laughed.

"You going to hook up with her too?"

_Gee, Rose, I dunno. I mean, I like you and all that, but I'm not that curious to see where you came from._

"No, we were looking over some new data about the Strigoi in the Drozdov attack"

That sobered her up "What'd you find out?"

It took me about a second to make up my mind to tell her. I needed to talk to someone, and Rose… well, she _understood_ me "We've managed to track some of the Strigoi. Or at least the humans with them. There were witnesses who lived nearby who spotted a few of the cars the group used. The plates were all from different states—the group appears to have split up, probably to make it harder for us. But one of the witnesses did catch one plate number. It's registered to an address in Spokane"

"Spokane? Spokane, _Washington_? Who makes Spokane their hideout?" She demanded.

"Strigoi, apparently. The address was fake, but other evidence shows they really _are _there. There's a kind of shopping plaza that has some underground tunnels. There've been Strigoi sightings around that area" I continued.

"Then… Are you going to go after them? Is somebody going to? I mean, this is what Tasha's been saying all along…. If we know where they are…" Rose trailed off.

"The guardians can't do anything without permission from higher up" I explained "That's not going to happen anytime soon"

"Because the Moroi talk too much" Rose sighed.

"They're being cautious"

"Come _on_. Even _you_ can't want to be careful on this one. You actually _know _where Strigoi are hiding out. _Strigoi who massacred children_. Don't you want to go after them when they don't expect it?"

_Yes. Yes, I do._

"It's not that easy" I explained "We answer to the Guardian Council and the Moroi government. We can't just run off and act on impulse. And anyway, we don't know everything yet. You should never walk into any situation without knowing all the details"

"Zen life lessons again" Rose sighed "Why'd you tell me this, anyway? This is guardian stuff. Not the kind of thing you let novices in on"

I thought about it "I've said a few things… the other day and today… that I shouldn't have. Things that insulted your age. You're seventeen…but you're capable of handling and processing the same things those much older than you do"

Rose struggled not to look like I'd just handed her the moon on a silver platter "Really?"

I nodded "You're still really young in a lot of ways— and act young—but the only way to really change that is to treat you like an adult. I need to do that more. I know you'll take this information and understand how important it is and keep it to yourself"

Before Rose could make any sort of comment, Tasha burst out little Hallmark-moment bubble. "Dimka! Hello, Rose"

"Hey"

Tasha placed a hand on my arm "You've got that look"

Though I hadn't wanted to encounter her, she wouldn't be saying anything in front of Rose, and I'd missed my friend. I smiled "What look?"

"That look that says you're going to be on duty all day" Tasha teased.

"Really? I have a look like that?" I joked.

Tasha nodded, serious "When does your shift technically end?"

I couldn't – wouldn't – tell her about my meeting with Janine "An hour ago" I lied, feeling a little embarrassed.

"You can't keep doing this! You need a break" Tasha protested.

"Well… if you consider that I'm always Lissa's guardian…" I began.

"_For now_" I felt sick "There's a big pool tournament going on upstairs"

"I can't. Even though I haven't played in a long time…" I trailed off.

"Come on, then!" Tasha pleaded "Just one round! We could take them all!"

Let me explain. Pool is a sort of – how to say it? – _vice_, for me. And after 17 years of playing it compulsively… _oh, yes_. I'm the best pool player _ever_. And, for some reason or another, so is Tasha.

But I sure as Hell wasn't gonna play with her now.

"I can't. Not with everything going on"

"I suppose not" Tasha admitted, then turned to Rose "I hope you realize what a hard-core role model you have here. He's never off duty"

"Well, _for now_, at least" Rose mocked.

Glaring, I took a puzzled Tasha's arm "We're finished here, Rose. Remember what I said"

Rose looked tired all of a sudden "Yeah. Definitely"

As she left, Tasha turned to me. "What's _her_ problem, anyway?"

I only wished I knew.

* * *

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	13. Chapter 13

People think being a guardian is impossibly exciting – all secret missions, going undercover and cool walkie-talkies.

People also happen to be frequently wrong.

I was hot, my tie was itchy, and I had a fucking _wedgie._ But was I allowed to move? Noooo. Heaven forbid Priscilla Voda's goddamned banquet from being anything less than perfect.

Worse, royals were everywhere, doing all those incomprehensible things rich people always do, like eating tiny fish eggs instead of just grabbing a hot dog because they're ever-so-cool even though we all know hot dogs taste so much better than caviar.

Take it from me – today's officially appointed voice of experience: royal Moroi are as boring as Hell.

That's the only good reason I could come up with to explain the fact that I felt my stomach drop as soon as Rose followed Lissa inside the room. My mind was obviously about to go into a comma and jumped on the first interesting thing it saw. It wasn't – as Daemon loudly claimed – the dress. The red, silky tight dress. Not even the unkempt-sorta-sexy-ish hair.

Aw, what the Hell. I'm not fooling you, am I? It was definitely the hair. I could've fucked that hair three ways from Sunday. I wanted to be the _maker_ of that hair.

But, you know, the dress sure helped.

Watching Rose was… rather entertaining. Particularly for little Dimka – who, I feel compelled to assure you, is definitely not little in any conceivable way.

Sorry about that. It's hard to keep your ego in check when you have a "drool-worthy six pack," I believe one of my girlfriends called it. But I try.

The food must've been great, because Rose practically inhaled it. Oh, but, wait, I wouldn't know, would I? Of course not! Good ole' Priss Voda probably forgot that dhampirs eat too.

Life is so sad, sometimes.

Anyway, once dinner was over and I was done substituting Rose's spoon for certain parts of my anatomy I won't name, the royals began doing what I like to call "The Mingle Dance," conversing politely for about five minutes until the prattle got dull and they switched partners.

Oh, the joy. I sure know how to enjoy my vacations, don't I?

Rose was beginning to grab more food when my most favoritest person in the world appeared, making her yank her hand back, looking horrified. It took about five seconds for them to hit it off, after that. A smug Ivashkov, grinning about as wide as Lewis Carroll's Chesire Cat, suddenly leaned in – in the middle of the conversation – and _sniffed Rose's neck_.

_I'll kill him. _I growled.

_Oh, he did not just go there! _Alayah shook her head_. The bastard. Though I do have to admit, that boy sure looks good in a tux._

_Welcome to the list, Ivashkov. _Daemon muttered happily, scribbling something in a note pad._ Looks like you'll be in there for a long, long time._

_What, so now you're from Law and Order? Jeez, Dae, you're getting about as corny as a pine tree_. Alayah scoffed.

_Great. And now the pot's calling the kettle black. _He retorted.

I rolled my eyes.

Rose stepped away from Adrian and tossed her hair. He smiled. If my life was a musical, Britney's _Womanizer _would've definitely been playing right then, with strippers taking Lissa as their leader and twirling around semi-naked in the background.

Hathaway had only taken a sip from the champagne Adrian handed her – definitely a bad influence – when her mother pounced.

"Rose!" She said loudly "What do you think you're doing?"

Some angry mutters afterwards, Janine had yanked her daughter out of the room. I frowned. They were probably all alone in the hallway, Rose's mother had violent history (unless I'd imagined the Black Eye Incident)…

_A murder might be going on out there._

"I'm gonna go check something out" I said to the guardian beside me, slipping away before he could say anything.

"Looking for someone, Guardian Belikov?" Adrian asked knowingly. I turned to face him.

"Actually, Lord Ivashkov, I was just informed that there's a situation outside" I lied "Now, if you'll excuse me…"

"I won't, actually" He said, the arrogant bastard "I've been wanting to talk to you"

"Really?" I asked, not even bothering to fake interest "What about?"

"It has come to my attention that you have a rather – how to say it politely? – _inappropriate_ relationship with one of your students" Adrian shook his head "I just felt like I should inform you that committing sexual acts with a minor is viewed by the law as statutory rape, Guardian. You should be more careful who you tell these things"

_Cunt-sucking twit!_ "I'll keep your advice in mind, Lord Ivashkov. I wish I could stay longer, but I really must go. Good night"

I left him and stepped out into the deserted hallway, cocking my head to the side and listening closely. Janine's angry voice floated towards me. "Christ, Ibrahim, I have no idea–"

_She's probably talking on the phone_. Alayah deduced. _And knowing her, Rose probably stormed off the other way._

I walked down the empty hall and then, when it reached a dead end, back-tracked up some stairs that emerged into a little deck.

The view was spectacular. It must've been eight or nine a.m., and the sunlight made the snow look almost blinding. But Rose – oh, she was the best part, though she was curled up on a radiator. Startled, she glanced at me and then back at the mountains. Noticing goose bumps on her arms, I wrapped my coat around her and sat down.

"You must be freezing"

Alayah snorted. _Way to go, Captain Obvious_.

"The sun's out" Rose said, shrugging.

I looked up, shielding my eyes. The sky was a rare blue, dotted with cartoon-like clouds. A perfect day "It is… but we're still on a mountain in the middle of winter"

Rose closed her eyes, quiet, and leaned against the wall. I studied her closely. There were circles under her eyes – cleverly masked by concealer, of course – and, though she looked spectacular, she also looked sad.

_She _is_ sad, D. Why shouldn't she be? Her relationship with her mom is rocky, at best, she doesn't know who her father is, and on top of that, she has to deal with her best friend's thoughts and emotions every day. She's just a girl_. Alayah said.

"My life is a disaster"

_I rest my case._

"It's not a disaster" I answered.

Rose opened her eyes and regarded me seriously "Did you follow me from the party?"

"Yes" I admitted.

"I didn't even know you were there"

_Ooh._ Daemon laughed.

_Cripes, Rose, way to help a man's self-esteem_.

"So you saw the illustrious Janine cause a commotion by dragging me out" Rose said flatly.

"It wasn't a commotion. Hardly anyone noticed. I saw because I was watching you" I blurted.

Alayah smacked her hand to her forehead. _Oh, God. Way to go, Dim_.

_This just keeps getting better, doesn't it?_ Daemon chuckled.

"That's not what she said. I might as well have been working a corner as far as she was concerned" Rose snorted "She called me a cheap whore – and then all of a sudden we went from discussing flirting to teen pregnancy. She was all, 'you're too young for a baby, you don't have the experience, you won't be able to live your life or do your job well…' It was so bizarre"

"She's just worried about you" I concluded.

"She overreacted" Rose corrected, determined to sulk.

I shrugged "Sometimes mothers are overprotective"

"Yeah, but this is _my_ mother. And she didn't seem that protective, really. I think she was more worried I'd embarrass her or something. And all that becoming-a-mother-too-young stuff was stupid. I'm not going to do _anything_ like that"

And then it dawned on me. After a moment's hesitation, I plunged on "Maybe she wasn't talking about you"

_Lordy, this is like a soap opera!_ Daemon laughed excitedly.

Rose was quiet for a moment "We aren't fighting right now"

_She's not mad._ Alayah said. _Who would've thought?_

I looked at her from the corner of my eye, wary "Do you _want_ to fight?"

"No. I hate fighting with you. Verbally, I mean. I don't mind in the gym" Rose added, as if I didn't already know.

"I don't like fighting with you either"

Quiet settled over us again. I took a long, deep breath and stared at the sky once more, soaking up the sunlight.

I was happy. Calm.

"You should take it" Rose said, startling me.

"What?"

"Tasha's offer. You should take her up on it. It's a really great chance" She said, honesty lacing her words.

I looked down, sure Rose wanted me out of her life.

"I never expected to hear you say anything like that" I admitted "Especially after–"

"What a bitch I've been?" Rose clutched my coat tighter around herself, drowning in it "Yeah. Well. Like I said, I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want us to hate each other. And…well…"

I waited expectantly. Sadness permeated the air around us, making it harder for me to breathe. Rose squeezed her eyes together. When they opened, she looked determined.

"No matter how I feel about us… I want you to be happy"

Swallowing became hard all of a sudden. Shaking, I pulled her to me "Roza"

Because I wanted her to be happy, too. She should get the chance to be with someone out in the open, to flirt in the lounge and have "study" dates and make-out in broom closets. If I stayed, I'd only take the possibility of that away from her. It was selfish, and… wrong. And I finally realized that it didn't matter that we were both Lissa's guardians, or that she was underage. It didn't matter how much I loved her, it didn't matter that she probably loved me too – we were doomed.

We had no future.

With a sigh, Rose pulled away. She took off my coat and stood.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"To break someone's heart" She was a step ahead of me – as usual.

Right then, I knew. Sitting on that beat-up radiator, freezing my ass off – it wouldn't have made me so happy if Rose hadn't been there. And if I couldn't be with her, well, that didn't mean I wouldn't always love her. I was pretty sure I would, though we'd never be together. It wasn't fair – but neither was letting Tasha be second best.

She would always be second best.

With a sigh of my own, I stood and began plodding towards Tasha's room, my heart heavy.

Star-crossed lovers are much more fun when they're starring in movies.

* * *

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	14. Chapter 14

Tasha had been sleeping. I – and anyone else – could tell from the way her hair was a mess and her make-up smeared, like she hadn't even bothered t take it off. As soon as she saw me, Tasha frowned.

"What the Hell are you doing here, D? Do you have any idea what time it is?" She mumbled through a yawn.

"We need to talk" I said. Tasha – still frowning – let me in.

The fact that I was doing the same thing Rose had done all those months ago didn't escape me.

_You're not actually doing the same thing as Rose, are you? Because I don't think Tasha considered getting hot and heavy and really close to date-rape when she opened that door._ Daemon shrugged.

Alayah smacked him – something that was soon going to lose its effect if she kept doing it so liberally. Not that I minded. _It wasn't anything like date-rape, you ass! It was love… something you clearly know nothing about._

_Oh_, Daemon dead-panned, _because you have so much experience_.

Alayah rolled her eyes but didn't reply.

Tasha looked at me from where she sat, cross-legged, on the bed. "Well?"

I sat down next to her, for once at a loss of words… until I decided to be blunt "T, I… I… I can't take your offer. I'm really sorry, but…"

She looked down at her hands "Yeah. I thought you'd say that"

_WHAT THE HELL?_

"What?" I blurted.

"Well, when you took such a long time to come tell me your answer… and the way you've been avoiding me…" I looked down and began examining the carpet intently "I just… I guess I… I didn't wanna believe it, so I kept hoping…"

Tasha choked on a sob and I put my arms around her.

"I… I kept hoping I was wrong… but I could see it in your eyes" She sniffled.

_Oh, Ok, sweetie, let me tell you one thing. Only Julia Roberts can say something so corny and get away with it, capische?_ Alayah snorted.

_God, A, give the girl a break. She's having a melt-down!_ Daemon tsked.

Alayah scoffed. _A melt-down? Puh-leez! She's as fake as Paris Hilton's boobs!_

_Would you _leave_ Paris Hilton alone and let me listen?_ He screamed.

I already felt like the biggest asshole in the world, but Tasha went on. "You can't love me, can you? Because you love someone else, right?"

I began stuttering – a child-hood habit that only returned in extremely awkward situations. "No… No I – I – I don't–"

"It's Ok. I don't think you can help it. Just… tell me one thing"

"Anything" I promised.

_You idiot!_ Alayah gasped. _Now she'll–_

"Who is she?" Tasha asked.

_I can't tell her._

_You can't tell her._ Alayah agreed.

_Tell her!_ Daemon said loudly. _Maybe she'll be the one to finally knock some sense into you._

To tell the truth, I was torn. Kinda like Hamlet - to be or not to be…

_Think, Dimitri._ Alayah begged, whispering urgently. _You may not see it now, but after you leave, Tasha's gonna be mad as Hell. And she may act nice, but she's no saint – trust me, I know a hypocrite when I see one, and good girls are usually the worst kind. Besides, I have a feeling about her… But it doesn't matter. The point is, you have Rose's reputation in your hands. Tell, and Tasha could destroy her with one word. You wouldn't want that, would you?_

_She'll help you get over her._ Daemon hissed. _Trust _me.

"No. No, Tasha, I can't. I wish I could"

Her laugh was bitter, and right then, I couldn't help but be thankful I had Alayah in my head "That bad, huh?"

"It's not–"

"Let's see" Tasha interrupted, the mean look on her face beginning to scare me "Who could it be? Hmm. Is it Lissa?"

I scoffed "Don't be–"

"No, not your type. But then, what is?" Tasha cocked her head to one side "All your girlfriends were pretty. Courtny, Jessica, Sasha – and they were all dark-haired, weren't they? So you have a preference for pretty brunettes"

_Too close._ I stood. "I should go"

"Ooh, I must be on the right track, then, if you're so anxious to leave" She spat "Dark-haired and pretty… I'm surprised I'm not up to the standard, D. A little offended, too, you know. Is it my scar? My age? It has to be something"

"You're gorgeous, Tasha" I said, weary "We both know that"

"A pretty brunette…" She repeated "Oh my God"

I blanched as quickly as she did.

"Oh my God. It's Rose, isn't it? It's her! I knew it! No wonder she was always so mean" Tasha exclaimed, looking both horrified and shocked.

"Are you out of your _mind_?" I asked her.

Tasha ignored me "I never would've pegged you for a pedophile, you know"

I _never would've pegged you for a bitch._

"Look, T, I know you're mad, but the fact that Rose has a little crush on me–"

"Crush? Crush?" She interrupted again, laughing a little hysterically "Is that what you call it? She's probably planning my grisly death, now"

_Well, I don't know about her,_ Alayah admitted. _But I can tell you, I am_.

Daemon shushed her.

"No, she hasn't. She likes you. She was just a little pissed off the other day" I defended.

"And now you're sticking up for her!" Tasha wailed, the change in attitude shocking me "This can't be happening to me. Beat by a seventeen-year-old brat!"

I tried to sound reasonable "T, you're really overreacting. Just because Rose snapped at you once…"

"But it's not that! It's not! I don't know how I missed it before"

"What are you _talking_ about?" I asked rudely.

"It's the way you fucking look at her!" Tasha put her head in her hands "Like she's the fucking center of the universe!"

_Well, she is_.

"That's it. If you can't accept that I don't like you because you're _you_, and I see you like a sister and Rose Hathaway doesn't have a thing to do with it… well then I'll just leave"

I slammed the door on my way out.

***

I was asleep – and nearing a comma – when the ringing began. Groaning, I somehow managed to answer my phone without looking.

"Hello?"

"Guardian Belikov" As soon as I heard Janine Hathaway's panicked voice, I knew.

"Something's wrong"

"Yes. Five students left the hotel" She informed me.

_God, please don't let her say what I think she's gonna say_.

"Rosemarie was one of them" I bolted upright so fast, the world spun and went black for a moment. Then, my stomach crawled out of my belly-button and ran away screaming.

It took me five seconds to go into guardian mode "Who were the rest?"

"Mason Ashford, Eddie Castile, Mia Rinaldi and Christian Ozera. Under normal circumstances, we wouldn't be so alarmed, but with all the attacks lately…"

"I'll be at your door in five minutes, Guardian Hathaway" I announced. Janine promptly hung up.

I was dressed and out the door so quickly, Speedy Gonzalez would've been proud.

Janine was pacing down the hallway, seemingly waiting for me. She whirled around as soon as she heard my footsteps approaching.

"They must've used compulsion to get out. Everyone who was on-duty recently is being interviewed, but no one remembers anything. I've already got people searching in train, metro and bus stations, but I need you to tell me who you think might've helped them"

"Lissa. The Princess. She'll know where they are"

"And she's good at compulsion?" Guardian Hathaway pressed.

"Excellent, but either Christian or Mia might've done it" I said.

Janine shook her head "Maybe, but Rose wouldn't have left Lissa out of it. The Princess must know something"

So it was that we stalked off, Janine worried for her daughter and I desperately hoping that the one girl I hated the most would be able to help me turn my world right-side-up again.

* * *

**So we learned a lot about Tasha in this chapter. I figure no one can be that good... you know what they say. "Good girls are just bad girls that don't get caught." Poor Tasha did, though. Thoughts? **

**Feel free to guess away, guys. I wanna hear your theories. Does Tasha apologize? If so, will Dimka forgive her? Will their friendship go on unscarred, die away, or will it be forever changed?**

**Ooh, the suspense, the suspense! Kindly review!**

**PD. CONGRATULATIONS to ruthless527 for gtting into the TOP TEN so quickly! Her story's been up for barely 3 months and she already has 840 reviews!!!!!! Wow. So, if you're by any chance reading this, ruthless, rock on =)**


	15. Chapter 15

I knocked on the hard wooden door for the third time that night. My knuckles were getting sore. "Princess? Princess!"

I heard some shuffling and saw the doorknob turn. Vasilisa Dragomir stood before me, dressed only in shorts and a tank top that I assumed were what constituted her pajamas. Daemon frowned.

_You know the world's in trouble when young girls wear the same sleeping clothes as whores_. He mumbled, shaking his head. Alayah – who was similarly clad – shot him a glare.

"Guardian Belikov? What's going on?" Lissa asked sleepily "Does anyone know where Rose is? She never came here to sleep"

"May we come in?" Janine Hathaway asked. The princess nodded and stepped back. I closed the door behind us and watched the blonde sit on her bed.

"What's going on?" She repeated.

"That's what we're trying to find out" I answered softly "Five students are missing – Rose, Mia, Eddie, Mason and Christian. They're all your friends, Princess. For their own good, we need you to tell us where they are"

"I – I don't know anything" Lissa stuttered.

"Princess, it's extremely important for you to tell us. It's not safe for them to be alone out there" Janine said.

"I know you want to protect them, but we need to know where they are" I added.

"I told you, I don't know. I don't know what happened" Vasilisa reiterated.

"I can't believe they wouldn't have told you where they were going. Especially with your… bond" Hathaway shook her head.

"It only works one way" Lissa said, exasperated "You know that"

I knelt so I could look her in the eye "Are you sure there's nothing? Nothing at all you can tell us? They're nowhere in town. The man at the bus station didn't see them… though we're pretty sure that's where they must've gone. We need something – _anything_ – to go on"

The Princess reddened "Don't you think if I knew, I'd tell you? You don't think I'm worried about them, too? I have no idea where they are. None. And why'd they even leave… it doesn't make any sense either. Especially why they'd go with _Mia_, of all people"

_Rose is in trouble, yet all she can think of is how jealous she is that Mia is out there instead of her. How much more petty can you get?_ Alayah asked, disgusted.

I agreed with Alayah, but Lissa _was_ making sense. Rose probably didn't want her getting in trouble – though Mia clearly didn't deserve such consideration, in her mind.

I turned to Janine "Now, what?"

"Now we wait" She sighed "Goodnight, Princess"

"Wait!" Lissa blurted before we could make our way out of her room "You'll… you'll let me know if you find anything, right?"

Hathaway nodded "Of course, Princess. Now, go to sleep"

We exited and stood in the hallway from a brief moment, looking at each other. I frowned "There's nothing else we can do, is there?"

Rose's mother shook her head.

***

I slept restlessly, my dreams constituting of black hair on the floor, like spilled blood, covering everything until I wasn't sure which way was up. And then, eyes, red and angry, staring at me from the darkness.

Though the nightmare wasn't a particularly gory one, I woke up sweating and disoriented. It took another moment for reality to set in, my stomach clenching in anxiety. Rose. Rose was gone.

Rose was not safe.

I checked my phone for messages and, disappointed by the lack of news, stepped into the shower. I took my time, not wanting to be idle for too long, but I was still walking towards the lobby far too soon for my taste.

The restaurant was abuzz with the sounds of mild panicking. In the corner, a group of novices argued in hushed whispers, and for a moment I saw it again. The blackness. Shaking it off, I waved a waitress over and ordered some breakfast.

About half an hour later, I was full to bursting and about to tear my hair off. Worst of all, my phone had remained stubbornly silent. I started to stalk across the lobby, on my way outside, when I saw Lissa talking to Ivashkov.

_Mother of all shit. I do _not_ need this right now_.

I discreetly walked closer, pretending to look out the window. Fragments of their conversation reached me. "_disappeared yesterday…_" "_no one knows where_" "_Rose…_"

The low, steady hum of Adrian's voice suddenly ceased and I turned to see him staring at me. Slowly, like in a movie, he placed his hand on Lissa's forearm, effectively silencing her. Then, in one swift movement, they were both out the door, and my hopes of eavesdropping were gone.

***

I spent most of the day locked up in my room, killing neurons not with a bottle of whisky but by trying to figure out where the Hell five teenagers could've run off to. Daemon and Alayah weren't much help.

By the time my phone read one o' clock, I was ready to jump off a balcony. Frustrated, I nearly chomped Ivashkov's head off when he wouldn't quit knocking.

"What do you want?"

"I'm here to help you, since you obviously aren't doing your job very well" Adrian crossed his arms over his chest.

"Insulting me isn't going to help a lot, you know" I said "So why don't you just tell me what you want and get out of my room?"

"Shouldn't you actually let me _in_ the room, first?" He asked. Reluctantly, I did.

"So… I saw Rose today" Ivashkov began casually.

"What?" _He isn't on crack, is he?_

_I wouldn't put it past him._ Daemon commented.

"You heard me. I'm a spirit user, like Lissa, only I can visit people's dreams – not heal them, or anything" He answered "But that's not important. The point is, Rose said they were in a basement"

My head was spinning "She didn't say where?"

Adrian shook his head "She woke up before she could finish. I thought it might be useful for you to know"

I nodded weakly. Seeing I wasn't about to jump in his arms and call him 'Mommy,' Adrian let himself out without another word. After a moment, I called Janine.

"Guardian Belikov. What is it?"

"They're in Spokane" _And it's my fault._

* * *

**So.. this took a while, huh? Sorry about that. Writer's block and _The shadow of the wind _kept me from uploading. I really reccommend that book, btw. Oscar-worthy. **

**Some people had issues with Tasha, but... think about it. What do we really know about her? She spoke to Rose, like, three times. She's Dimka's friend... and that's about it. Maybe she wasn't as nice as she led everyone to believe. Maybe she had a temper - she is Christian's aunt, after all. Whatever it is you'd rather believe, the point remains: few women wouldn't have been mad at Dimitri in her place. Think about it. **

**Lissie**


	16. Chapter 16

Spokane. Spokane, Spokane, Spokane. I never could've guessed that my world would son revolve around that word. It flashed through my mind, over and over, like some kind of sick techno beat.

_Spokane. Where can they be in Spokane?_

Janine was as puzzled as I was. We'd been trying to figure something – anything – out for the past half hour, and sitting staring at a blank wall was not helping me remain sane.

_Ok. Ok. We all need to calm down, here. I can't focus if you keep imagining worst case scenarios, D._ Alayah sighed, rubbing her temples.

Daemon had his head in his hands. _If I was a teen in Spokane I would go to… where? Where would I go? In Spokane…_

I shot up. "Janine, you have people checking the mall where those sightings were reported, don't you?"

"Yes, yes, of course" She answered hoarsely. "But I… Well, I think we should go take a look for ourselves"

I nodded "Let's go, then"

The bus trip seemed to take forever, and my mind kept spinning. What if the Strigoi had gotten bored and Rose was bleeding out on a dark alley this very minute? Or maybe she was being tortured, or whipped, or even raped…

At that, my vision went red. The very thought of someone touching her – touching _her_ – the way only _I _had touched her, the way no one ever would, was excruciatingly painful, a stake through the heart.

Finally, finally, we were off that damned bus and out on the streets. And the mall... the mall was empty.

I could've cried. Janine just flitted around the tunnels like an armed and dangerous version of Tinkerbell, whispering "No, no, no" like a broken record that was stuck on the same song.

_God, I'll do anything. I swear. I'll die. Just, please… please let her be ok. I need to see her again, to hold her in my arms one last time. To tell her I love her. It can't end like this._

A tear slipped down my cheek, but I didn't have the strength to wipe it away.

_How am I supposed to go on without her? _

Someone's phone rang, jerking me back to reality.

"Hello?" It was Guardian Hathaway's "Mia! Oh, thank God! Where _are_ you? Mia? Mia!"

"Are they alright?" I asked.

"She's incoherent. They're out of the house, standing on the street. Mia's calling from a pay phone on Mullan road" Janine answered, starting towards the car. I could barely keep up.

We were there in less than five minutes, thanks to the woman's insane driving. Christian trotted up to us and I took him by the shoulders. Only him, Mia and Eddie stood on the street.

"Rose. Where's Rose?" It was the million-dollar question, but Ozera had no problem answering it.

"In there. And Mason–" But I was already gone, as quick as I had ever been in my life. Janine, just a step ahead of me, kicked the door open.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew there were other Guardians close behind us. Instantly the house was swarming with people. But my world had narrowed down to the scene in front of me.

I don't know what I expected to find. Maybe a bedraggled but victorious Rose, or worried, a little hysteric, even. But what I do know is that anything – anything – would've been better than what I saw.

Because this girl's eyes were hollow.

Rose stood in the center of the room, a pale, shaking mess holding a sword. Her eyes didn't seem to be able to focus on anything. "Stay back. Stay away from him"

Alayah let out a tiny, pitiful sob. Damon put his arms around her.

"Stay back!" Rose yelled, and she was a warrior right then, standing over Mason's – oh my God, Mason was dead. And there she stood, like an avenging angel, ready to defend his body.

I swear I felt my heart shatter. Because no matter how brave and powerful she looked, I could tell. It was obvious.

My Rose was broken.

"Rose. Drop the sword" I didn't even realize I'd spoken until I heard her answer.

"Get away from us" Her voice shook nearly as badly as her body.

"Rose" I repeated, and she trained her eyes on me, a flicker of recognition in them "It's okay. Everything's gonna be ok. You can let go of the sword"

"I can't" She whispered, haunted "I can't leave him alone. I have to protect him"

"You have"

The sword slinked down onto the floor a brief moment before Rose did. I took her in my arms to help her up, and pushed her sweaty hair off her face.

"Oh, my Rose. Oh, thank God. Shh, it's ok. You're ok. You're here, with me, and you're safe. And I'm gonna protect you, and no one's ever gonna hurt you again" I murmured in Russian "I promise. You were so brave in there. I'm so proud, Rose, so very proud. But, then, you're always brave. So much more than I am. Oh, you have no idea how much I…"

I didn't even bother looking at the two Strigoi on the floor. I could guess what they looked like. But Rose… she couldn't seem to be able to tear her gaze away.

"Get her out of here, Belikov" Janine ordered.

"Come on, Roza" I soothed, tugging her towards the door "It's time to go"

Slowly, Rose stumbled outside. In the sunlight, I was struck by the fact that she looked – well, dead. Or like a zombie. There were bags under her eyes, and I could feel her ribs beneath the thin fabric of her blouse. Worst of all, she was shaking.

And she wasn't fierce anymore.

* * *

**Ohmigod, I'm SORRY!!! But I swear, I have a good excuse.**

**I mean, it was spring break, so I spent the first week of vacation missioning (aka spreading God's message) in a tiny town with no internet access, sleeping in a run-down elementary school. (It was fun!!). And then when I got back my parents dragged me to our beach house (again, no internet access anywhere!). So I get back to town, start writing and guess what? EXAMS HIT ME. So I'm still studying and everything but my mom finally gave me my laptop (which was broken, btw) back, and well... Sorry!!**

**I hope this makes up for everything. We're almost done with this book (just one more chapter to go!) but I'll start with Shadow Kiss immediately. Oh, and updates should be regular from now on =)**

**xoxo**

**Lissie**


	17. Chapter 17

They gave Rose four days to get over it.

Four days during which I nearly paced a hole through the floor, worrying. First kills are… well, they're hard. More than that. Devastating, because somehow your brain refuses to wrap around the fact that you _killed_ someone. That you actually ended a life, broke apart dreams and memories and a family.

And I wished it didn't have to be this way, that we could be normal and go to college and study and maybe even work with something nice that didn't involve guns and stakes and magic, and the smell of rotting flesh in a dark basement.

I'd never told anyone, but I hated what I did. Protecting the ones you loved – that part was great. I just wished I didn't have to kill to do it. I was a huge mound of muscle, the kind of guy that looked like he could only be taken down using large amounts of gunpowder, but what I really wanted from life was Rose, peace and western novels.

Anyway, the molnija ceremony arrived too soon for anyone's liking. It was simple, quick, and efficient, much like the guardians that had planned it. Once the tattooing was done, a line formed to talk to Rose. When my turn came, I couldn't say anything. It took all I had to put a hand on her cheek, nod, and walk away.

I always seemed to be walking away from her.

Things pretty much went back to normal after that. Well, except for the fact that I caught Alayah and Daemon holding hands in his room one night. What they were talking about, I had no idea, and I didn't really wanna know. Romance just made life a lot harder than it had to be.

I couldn't avoid it, though. That same day, the day Rose returned to class, I knew she'd assume practice was on. So I went to the gym, opened a book, and waited half an hour.

"I thought you might come by"

"It's time for practice" She said, pulling her hair up into a ponytail.

"No. No practice today. You still need to recover" I said, firm.

Rose flushed "I've got a clean bill of health. I'm good to go"

I gestured to the chair next to me "Sit down, Rose"

She did. "No one gets over their first kill…kills…easily. Even with Strigoi…well, it's still technically taking a life. That's hard to come to terms with. And after everything else you went through…" I took her tiny, doll-like hand in mine and decided it was time to lay myself bare "When I saw your face…when we found you in that house…you can't imagine how I felt"

"How … how did you feel?"

"Devastated… grief-stricken. You were alive, but the way you looked… I didn't think you'd ever recover. And it tore me apart to think of that happening to you so young. You _will _recover—I know that now, and I'm glad. But you aren't there. Not yet. Losing someone you care about is never easy"

Her voice shook "It's my fault"

And I was officially confused "Hmm?"

"Mason. Getting killed" She elaborated.

_I should've known_ "Oh, Roza. No. You made some bad decisions… you should have told others when you knew he was gone… but you can't blame yourself. _You didn't kill him_"

Her eyes were full, and I wanted to bring Mason back from the dead and kill him again for making her cry, even though I knew he didn't mean to "I might as well have. The whole reason he went there—it was my fault. We had a fight… and I told him about the Spokane thing, even though you asked me not to…"

I sighed "You can't blame yourself for that. You can regret your decisions and wish you'd done things differently, but in the end, Mason made his decisions too. That was what _he_ chose to do. It was _his_ decision in the end, no matter your original role"

"I just wish I'd been able to… I don't know, do anything…" She stood "I should go. Let me know when you want to start practice again. And thanks for… talking"

Rose began to walk away, but this time, I wasn't gonna let her "No"

"What?"

For a moment, I didn't know what I was supposed to say to make her stay. And then it dawned on me "No. I told her no. Tasha"

"I… But… why?" She stuttered "That was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. You could have had a baby. And she… she was, you know, into you…"

_And a little nuts_ "Yes, she was. Is. And that's why I had to say no. I couldn't return that… couldn't give her what she wanted. Not when… Not when my heart is somewhere else"

There. I'd said it. After hours of wondering whether it was for the best, if it would hurt her more… I'd decided. My choice was made. Spokane had been a slap in the face. It'd made me realize I couldn't take life for granted – couldn't take _anything_, not even Rose turning eighteen for granted – least of all with this kind of job. So I figured, if one of us died tomorrow, I'd want her to know. I owed her that much.

"But you seemed so into her. And you kept going on about how young I acted" Rose's words, whispered in an uncertain, wavering tone that was impossibly unlike her, let me know how much I'd really hurt her.

"You act young because you _are_ young" I admitted "But you know things, Roza. Things people older than you don't even know. That day… You were right, about how I fight to stay in control. No one else has ever figured that out— and it scared me. You scare me" I admitted.

She frowned "Why? Don't you want anyone to know?"

"Whether they know that fact or not doesn't matter" I explained "What matters is that someone—that _you_—know me that well. When a person can see into your soul, it's _hard_. It forces you to be open. Vulnerable. It's much easier being with someone who's just more of a casual friend"

"Like Tasha"

Suddenly, the description didn't seem to fit her as well as it had before, and I knew that no matter how kind she was after this, things were forever changed between us "Tasha Ozera is an amazing woman. She's beautiful and she's brave. But she doesn't – "

"She doesn't _get_ you" Rose guessed.

I nodded "I knew that. But I still wanted the relationship. I knew it would be easy and that she could take me away from you. I thought she could make me forget you"

_I hate to admit it, Rose, but I'm a fucking coward. I don't deserve you, do I?_

"But she couldn't" She said, a little smug.

"Yes. And, so… that's a problem" And I hated it. It shouldn't have been a problem. What I felt for Rose should've been the best thing in my life. Hell, it was. What sucked was that I couldn't publicly admit it, I would never scream it from the rooftops or declare my love for her with words painted in the sky.

_Love. I love her. I'm never gonna love anyone else._

_The sad part is that it took him this long to figure it out._ Alayah whispered to Damon.

_Yeah. It's messed up_. He chuckled. He's _messed up. But we wouldn't be here if he wasn't_.

She nodded, solemn. _Oh, yes. Thank God for messed-up Russian giants_.

"Because it's wrong for us to be together" Rose completed.

Suddenly, I couldn't swallow. "Yes"

She nodded "Because of the age difference"

Did she really not realize what she was doing to me? "Yes"

"But more importantly because we're going to be Lissa's guardians and need to focus on her—not each other"

"Yes" I choked.

Rose cocked her head to the side thoughtfully. "Well," She began "the way _I_ see it, we aren't Lissa's guardians _yet_"

Because that was so adorable and sassy and typically Rose, I kissed her.

First, ever-so-softly, on the lips, because I needed her. And then, when it grew lusty, on the forehead, because I'd always take care of her. I ran my fingers through that mother-fucking hair… and let them rest on her cheek.

I wished I could stay, just like that, forever.

"I'll see you later, Roza"

"At our next practice? We are starting those up again, right? I mean, you still have things to teach me" She faltered.

I grinned "Yes. _Lots_ of things"

I heard the fullness of her laughter and closed the door behind me. As quiet as usual, I walked listlessly to my room, plopping down on the bed and thought about her eyes. Though my love for Rose's hair was the one I talked about the most, my guilty pleasure, those dark eyes were my perdition. Well, no. Not really. More like my salvation, actually. The best version of me was always reflected in their depths.

_Rosie, baby, I see forever in your eyes._

* * *

**I tried to make this longer, guys, but I'm not gifted enough. Sorry =(. Four pages will have to do.**

**Did you like it? Hate it? Opinions are welcome**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey, guys! **

**Shadow Kiss is now up, just for those who don't read ANs. It's called Dead Man's Blues and you can find it on my profile =)**

**According to my calculations, about 200 people didn't know this, so... read on! I hope you like it!**

**xoxo**

**Lissie**


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